Saturday, July 20, 2013

Day 20: Getting Real

A struggle.  Present day.  Like, something I'm dealing with now.  Working on now.  Kinda goes along with the Day 16 post about difficulties. 

Difficulties.  Life is full of them.  What makes them liveable is how you choose to respond to those difficulties.  And I don't always respond well.

I'm........... a little embarrassed to admit........... how much I'm struggling with this whole idea of growing up.  I mean, I'm in my 30's. 
I'm chronologically an adult.  Except I feel like anything but.  I am so lost in this identity discovery, something kids usually go through as they make their way in and out of adolescence and teenage time and early adulthood.

I'm digging my heels in.  I'm white knuckling it.  I'm resisting.  Because I'm ascared.  I skipped those growing-up experiences the first time through, and while logically I know that the way to "fill those holes" is to let myself go through the experiences now.  But I must have skipped them for a reason, so to re-live something I avoided the first time? 

Let's just say my therapist has her hands full with me these days.  And I'm so, so, so, SO grateful to have her on my team.

Day 20 Prompt: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.


So? What do you think?