Thursday, August 20, 2015

Thankful Thursdays - Year 3

Day 237 - Thursday 8/20/15 - Glad to finally speak out loud something that I've been holding inside for a while.  While it hasn't made things any better, I'm grateful to not be carrying it alone anymore.

Day 236 - Wednesday 8/19/15 - Thankful that I took the plunge and ventured into a new job, it truly is a wonderful place to be working!

Day 235 - Tuesday 8/18/15 - Learned firsthand that having more than 5 scheduled meetings in a day is a challenge, but absolutely survivable!

Day 234 - Monday 8/17/15 - Great presentation at a great conference today!  Moving up in the presentation world - wasn't even nervous for this one!

Day 233 - Sunday 8/16/15 - Wrapped up a uber hot day hanging with one of my favorite families and playing games with two of my favorite kiddos!

Day 232 - Saturday 8/15/15 - Got to spend the afternoon hanging out with the peanut today, and boy did we have fun!  Nothing like a sunny Saturday afternoon full of smiles!

Day 232 - Friday 8/14/15 - Felt extremely accomplished today.  Finished a major project and am super psyched to move on to the next one!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thankful Thursdays - Year 3

Day 231 - Thursday 8/13/15 - Another great workshop this morning!  Loss for words how much I appreciate the people I now work with.

Day 230 - Wednesday 8/12/15 -  Feared my doctor's appointment this morning, smiled as I walked out!

Day 279 - Tuesday 8/11/15 -  So grateful to work with the people with whom I work.... after spending the day together, I know I'm in the right place.

Day 278 - Monday 8/10/15 - Hosted my first workshop at my new job - nervous as all get out - but thrilled it was so well received!

Day 275 - Sunday 8/9/15 -  Honored that I got to educate my dietitian - had a great work time helping her learn the insides of her website so she can now update it herself.

Day 274 - Saturday 8/8/15 - Enjoyed a fairly quiet day - much needed - and managed to sleep in and nap twice!

Day 273 - Friday 8/7/15 - Got to see an old friend of my brother's tonight - nice to catch up and see her adorable baby!

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Thankful Thursdays - Year 3

 Day 272 - Thursday 8/6/15 -  I haven't said it in a while, but I really love my therapist, and today, I was once again reminded why.

Day 271 - Wednesday 8/5/15 - Wonderful day at a workshop with a former colleague - great to catch up with her and great workshop experience overall!

Day 270 - Tuesday 8/4/15 - I love my new job!  Got rather teary thinking how content I feel among my new colleagues.

Day 269 - Monday 8/3/15 - What a way to start the school year!  No power meant we all got to go home extra early!

Day 268 - Sunday 8/2/15 - Lovely, low key day.  Perfect last day of vacation for me!

Day 267 - Saturday 8/1/15 - Despite not feeling well, I kept my commitment to myself and dragged myself on a walk.

Day 266 - Friday 7/31/15 - Had a lovely day with some friends exploring a nearby village I'd yet to have seen.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Thankful Thursday - Year 3

Day 265 - Thursday 7/30/15 - Kinda nice to take my walk early this morning along the beach with my Dad's company.  (Shocking that I just said that, but true!)

Day 263 - Wednesday 7/29/15 - Enjoyed having the beach to ourselves this morning, and this mini-vacation continues to pleasantly surprise me.

Day 262 - Tuesday 7/28/15 - Shocked and appreciative at how lovely today was, considering I spent it with my family.

Day 261 - Monday 7/27/25 - Grateful for the adjusted schedule this week that allowed me to see my therapist on my way out of town, literally.

Day 260 - Sunday 7/26/15 - 

Day 259 - Saturday 7/25/15 - SO appreciative of my BFF, who came over tonight to help me weed through the clutter-overload at home right now.  We made a HUGE dent in it, thanks to her help!

Day 258 - Friday 7/24/15 - Well, I spoke up for myself, and was promised some peace because of it.  Let's see if that actually happens.

The "L" Word

Today I was posed with a task that is proving to be way more of a challenge than it should be.

See, I just returned from a brief vacation with my family (first time in for-ev-er!) and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the trip.  (Never, ever thought I'd say that!)  Anyway, it was suggested to me by someone I very much trust and respect that I send a thank you note to my parents, who I know worked quite hard to make sure I (and my high maintenance requests) were accommodated and that I was comfortable with everyone.

The thank you, though an idea I never would have had, was fine.  I could do that, no problem.  But somehow, it led into another conversation that still, hours later, has me unable to press send on the thank you note.

How do you close a letter to your parents when you really don't have the greatest of relationships, when they are "overly interested" in being in your world, and when there are absolutely zero boundaries?

I wanted to sign it with something simple, like "xoxox" but that isn't what was suggested.  I played around with a few others, such as "with appreciation" and "hugs" but again, not what was suggested.

The "L" word is what was suggested.  More specifically, I was encouraged to close the thank you with "I L you" but I can't.  I just can't.  The "L" word has such strength behind it, I just don't feel like I can use it with my family.  (Yes, I know I'm referring to the "L" word as "it," just goes to show how uncomfortable that word makes me feel.

So, in an effort to understand what the closing actually means, I did what any anxiety-ridden techie does - I went to Google.  I was enlightened, but still.... yeah....

So it turns out that signing a note or letter "love ya" actually is less "strong" as signing "love you" and that is less strong than signing "I love you" or "love always," which are quite strong and serious.  Then there are the variety of signatures that hold similar connotation and strengths, such as "affectionately," and "ever yours," and adoringly," and "with love" and all the other closings that make my stomach churn.

Don't get me wrong, I can liberally use the "L" word in the "right" setting.  Like saying "I love my dog," or "I LOVE maple walnut fudge."  In that situation, the "L" word fits without hesitation.  It's when applying it to people......

Growing up, every single phone conversation with my parents ended with "Love you" which drastically diluted the meaning of the "L" word, and contributed to my aversion to using it.  To me, it's got power and, well, how shall I put it..... power, strength, and an overwhelming amount of warmth that fill it, I just don't like using it unless it's really all those things.  Guess that's part of growing up with the deep scars in which I did, and learning to overcome my aversion while accepting the scars is part of the work my team and I are in for..... Oy.

Guess I better go send that email........

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Thankful Thursdays - Year 3

Day 257 - Thursday 7/23/15 - A brief bonus visit with my dietitian ended a productive, and fairly satisfying day with a smile.

Day 256 - Wednesday 7/22/15 - Appreciate the reminder that we all have gifts that others appreciate, which means we get to appreciate others as they appreciate us.

Day 255 - Tuesday 7/21/15 - So nice to talk to my dietitian again.  Two weeks is still just a tad too long for me to go between visits.

Day 244 - Monday 7/20/15 - I love when my therapist makes sense of things that I can't seem to unwind.

Day 243 - Sunday 7/19/15 - Enjoyed plenty of sunshine-filled pool time today.  It was quite nice!

Day 242 - Saturday 7/18/15 -  Treated myself to a treat at the mall tonight.  Hey, I walked for a while, I earned it!

Day 241 - Friday 7/17/15 -  Loved that I had the pool all to myself this afternoon!