Professionally Developed

I work with some amazing people.  Professional, put together, masters of their craft.  People that I look at and think "wow, I kinda wish I could have their lives for a little while, and see how the other half lives......"  I often feel less than, just because they are all married (or engaged) and have families (or are just starting their families) and have very rich and wonderful lives outside of work.  In other words, their highlight reels are pretty spectacular.

And mine isn't.

Except for one area.  I found it quite shocking that my "highlight reel" actually brought out the behind-the-scenes struggle in my colleagues.  See, my highlight reel is very limited.  It actually only encompasses one skill area.  That's it.  I don't have the family.  I don't have the relationship.  I don't have the outside-of-work-amazing-life.  But I do have one talent, that I now know brings out insecurities in others.  Which is something I hate to do, make someone feel insecure.  And today, more than ever, that was made clear to me.

Which is why this quote came to mind.  I know I need to really work hard to stop looking at the highlight reel, the "public persona" of my colleagues.  Because when I do that, I feel like an ant surrounded by elephants - the smallest, most insignificant creature of the bunch.  Hopefully this new-found information will help me balance out a little bit more, and be less insecure about what they have that I don't, and instead, focus on sharing what I can......  After all, we all have something to offer, whether we're behind the camera or running the show.

My Distraction Box

I got this idea from a fellow blogger over at Swallow a Spider.  She created a box that contains safe distractions for when she's in a tough spot.  I thought it was a fantastic idea, and have started assembling my own box.  I really like the idea of having everything in one spot, easily accessible, in case of emergency.  Sometimes when I get into that state of desperate panic where I don't quite know what to do with myself, well, this box could be a pretty handy tool.

Taped to the inside of the lid are phone numbers, in order of who to call first, so I don't have to look should I be that frazzled.

I've included a small stuffie and a small scrap of my favorite, extra soft, snuggle fabric, which is always soothing.  There's a bottle of panic meds and Advil, just in case I need something more.  Also inside are crayons, colored pencils, and a sketch book, all good distractions and fun!  Additionally, I've included a photo and message from someone very helpful to me, and a few motivating quotes that I like.  I put in a book to read, one of my favorites, so it will be like revisiting old friends when I read it.  There's also a mini deck of cards and a twist/toy fidget.  The last thing inside is a small kids mp3 player with a special message and some of my favorite songs on it, along with headphones.  I picked it up very inexpensively for a project that I never used it for, and while I likely won't need it, I figured I'd put it in, just in case!

I still may put other things in, and the contents will likely change over time, but for now, I know that if I were in a tough spot, and I didn't know what else to do, pulling this box out would distract me, at least for a little while!  (And even better, putting it together was a great distraction in itself!)

Comfort Zone

I am a person who loves routine and stability.  Which is why when I was asked to step out of my comfort zone, and do something that I'd rather not do, I panicked.

A few weeks ago I, was encouraged to start volunteering.  I mean, why not?  Anne Frank said "no one ever became poor by giving."  She may have meant that in financial terms, but I think it also applies to time.  I do have time to give, so why not give some?

Because I am afraid.  That's why.  Because I am afraid to commit doing something that I might not be able to handle.  How do I know I won't be able to handle it?  I don't.  And I won't, unless I try.  No matter how scared I am, I have to try.

So this afternoon I finally took a chance and emailed an organization I am interested in volunteering for.  According to their website, they require a minimum commitment of one hour a week.  I think I can handle that.  At least, I hope I can.  Volunteering is something that would help me in so many ways, especially volunteering for an organization like the one I chose to contact. Now that the ball is in motion, I'm in that information gathering stage, where I need to know as much as possible, so I can find a bit of a life preserver as I head out of my comfort zone and into the zone where the magic happens.

Here's hoping for some magic.....

Challenge 3, Part 2: Becoming Self Empowered

Becoming self empowered is not easy, or at least it has not been an easy journey for me. I still fear the path one must walk to become self empowered, especially as I head toward learning to speak up for myself, learning to ask for what I need, and actually giving myself what I need. Funny how that works, what we most need for ourselves, the ability to meet our own needs, something we should be empowered to do at least once we reach adulthood, is often a very hard task to accomplish!

Think about it.  Once you reach a certain age, you learn to feed yourself. Yes, the food you are given may not be a choice, but you get to feed it to yourself. I mean, how many people fawn over baby as he grasps that first fistful of Cheerios and shoves them adorably in his mouth? Same with potty training- to be free of that diaper means "I'm a big kid now."  Riding a two-wheeler. Learning to tie your shoes. Being home alone for the first time. All empowering milestones that we pass through as we grow.

For some, those milestones are celebrated and begin to instill that sense of accomplishment and pride in oneself. This can pave the way to a life where the feeling of accomplishment, of pride, comes from within. Self empowerment to the maximum level- believing in yourself, not needing external praise to know you've done well. This boost gives one the power to try new things without worry of failure.  All those little milestones along the way were sprinkled with failures, but because the successes were celebrated, the failures just became a part of the process, and not the end all self belief.

For others, that is not how their journey went. Successes weren't as frequently celebrated and failures filled the gaps between. Becoming empowered was feared, and developing a reliance on those around you (your family) was the expectation. Sure, some milestones were celebrated and many skills were learned. There was even a bit of fun sprinkled along the path. But that self confidence that grows as a result of positive experiences that are praised, and failures that are encouraged to be challenged into successes, well, that is often missing. Instead of looking at a failure and saying to yourself, as was modeled to you by your parents, "I can do it, let me try again, I know I can do it," a failure means the end. A failure means you need someone else to help, and you always will.

Which, in reality, is not true.

Because EVERYONE can become self empowered. Everyone. Doesn't matter how old you are or how lousy your life was growing up or how little you were celebrated. It IS possible to learn to lean on, to empower yourself to reach for those experiences, to learn to nourish your body, feed your soul, and love yourself. No, you might not be able to do it alone, at least not at first. Yes, it may take a long time, and you will need to have people that are walking along the path with you. And yes, at first you will need them to feed you the praise and encouragement you missed as you grew. But eventually, at least I'm told, you will no longer need the encouragement to come from those walking with you. Eventually you will be able to internalize their positive words, replace the negative tracks with positive messages, and empower yourself.

Challenge 3, Part 1: What is Self Empowerment?

Self Empowerment makes me think of that good old slogan "girl power!" that I grew up hearing over and over again.  Yes, I am a child of the 80's... and somewhat the 90's... and we always used to respond to "turtle power!" with "girl power!" as kids.  Empowerment is a good thing in my mind, it means that you are doing something (generally) positive for yourself because it's good to do, or you want to do it.  I remember the first time I took an English style riding lesson (I had been riding Western for a while) and how empowering it felt to be in the smaller saddle, and how strong I felt being able to quickly pick up the English style, quick enough to compete in an English style walk-trot class just three days after my first lesson!  I felt so strong and powerful on that pony's back, and I was so proud of myself for trying something new, competing so quickly, and I even won a fourth place ribbon!  (Yes, there were more than four riders in the class!)

I was reading a bit about equine therapy recently, and how many of the riders feel strong and powerful when they are astride the wonderfully patient horse... how for many riders, it's the only time they've ever experienced legs strong enough to carry them around, to feel what it's like to move on your own accord, instead of with a walker or wheelchair.  Talk about empowering!  Watching kids climb aboard for the first time?  Their grin?  Their happiness?  Empowering.  Equines really do empower, in so many ways.

Looking back, I felt most empowered during my equestrian days.  I loved the freedom being on horseback gave me, I loved the thrill of trying something new, because I felt secure on back of my horse or pony.  I had confidence in my ability as a rider, not because my coach told me I was good enough, but because I just knew in my heart, that on my horse, I could do anything.  I was involved with horses for almost 15 years, from the ground up, as the stable grunt and the show star.  Learning how to ride, how to do everything involved in taking care of a horse, I felt so good!  I didn't even mind mucking stalls, because I knew how important it was to my horse.  Things were just different around horses.  On the back of my trusted horse(s), I felt alive.  I felt empowered.