Professionally Developed

I work with some amazing people.  Professional, put together, masters of their craft.  People that I look at and think "wow, I kinda wish I could have their lives for a little while, and see how the other half lives......"  I often feel less than, just because they are all married (or engaged) and have families (or are just starting their families) and have very rich and wonderful lives outside of work.  In other words, their highlight reels are pretty spectacular.

And mine isn't.

Except for one area.  I found it quite shocking that my "highlight reel" actually brought out the behind-the-scenes struggle in my colleagues.  See, my highlight reel is very limited.  It actually only encompasses one skill area.  That's it.  I don't have the family.  I don't have the relationship.  I don't have the outside-of-work-amazing-life.  But I do have one talent, that I now know brings out insecurities in others.  Which is something I hate to do, make someone feel insecure.  And today, more than ever, that was made clear to me.

Which is why this quote came to mind.  I know I need to really work hard to stop looking at the highlight reel, the "public persona" of my colleagues.  Because when I do that, I feel like an ant surrounded by elephants - the smallest, most insignificant creature of the bunch.  Hopefully this new-found information will help me balance out a little bit more, and be less insecure about what they have that I don't, and instead, focus on sharing what I can......  After all, we all have something to offer, whether we're behind the camera or running the show.

Challenge 9, Part 1: Wholeness

Sometimes, I believe that in order to truly be a whole person, you are required to fall to bits first.  That's what gives you the chance to discover all your shadows and corners of, so you can clean out the things that aren't serving you, and put yourself back together so you're an even better, more complete, version of you.

For me, that falling apart bit has been somewhat easy, and all to common.  This time, though, I've got a great team helping me put the pieces back together. Wouldn't be able to do it without them!

Challenge 1, Part 1: Self Care

This is a really challenging topic for me because in all honesty, I suck in the self-care department, and in the self-soothing department?  I'm even worse!  The good news is that there's no where to go but up and there is lots of room for improvement!

There's this little thing called self-worth that gets in my way.  It's something I am working on daily, and it is so not easy.  However, I firmly believe that once I see myself as deserving of care, from myself or anyone, I will be better able to care for myself.  It's a really odd paradox in my mind - I'm not worthy enough for anyone to care about, yet, unless I care about myself, no one else can really do it for me.

Mentally and emotionally, I know that I have gaps in my development in this department, and I'm working hard to learn the things I skipped over in an effort to better meet my own needs.  It is mentally exhausting right now because everything, from assembling a balanced meal, to building basic care routines, everything is a huge effort!  Things that many people do without thought, I am still working my way through, step by step, inch by inch, and having to think consciously about every single step along the way.  Little by little I'll learn, and it'll get easier a little at a time, at least I hope it does, because the amount of thought and effort put into EVERYthing I do to take care of myself is exhausting!

One of my fellow bloggers has something she calls a Bliss List.  Take a peek at her list, it's really quite inspiring, yet full of simple things that one can do to take care of themselves.  I'm starting my own Bliss List and it has not been an easy task, because self-care is not an easy task.  I'll get there.  One day at a time, of course!