This is a really challenging topic for me because in all honesty, I suck in the self-care department, and in the self-soothing department? I'm even worse! The good news is that there's no where to go but up and there is lots of room for improvement!
There's this little thing called self-worth that gets in my way. It's something I am working on daily, and it is so not easy. However, I firmly believe that once I see myself as deserving of care, from myself or anyone, I will be better able to care for myself. It's a really odd paradox in my mind - I'm not worthy enough for anyone to care about, yet, unless I care about myself, no one else can really do it for me.
Mentally and emotionally, I know that I have gaps in my development in this department, and I'm working hard to learn the things I skipped over in an effort to better meet my own needs. It is mentally exhausting right now because everything, from assembling a balanced meal, to building basic care routines, everything is a huge effort! Things that many people do without thought, I am still working my way through, step by step, inch by inch, and having to think consciously about every single step along the way. Little by little I'll learn, and it'll get easier a little at a time, at least I hope it does, because the amount of thought and effort put into EVERYthing I do to take care of myself is exhausting!One of my fellow bloggers has something she calls a Bliss List. Take a peek at her list, it's really quite inspiring, yet full of simple things that one can do to take care of themselves. I'm starting my own Bliss List and it has not been an easy task, because self-care is not an easy task. I'll get there. One day at a time, of course!
When I read this, this quote came to mind:
ReplyDelete"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
- Albert Camus -
This will not be permanent. Other people have not, are not fighting the battles you are, havent lived the experiences you have - and theyre not you. So you cant compare. I think your honesty in this is so beautiful and the idea of a bliss list is fab.
You have strength enough to do this, you are doing this, and thats truly amazing xxx
I LOVE that quote Tracey! Wow. So fitting. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I can't take credit for the idea of a bliss list, but I sure am hoping to build one that helps keep me afloat! xox
DeleteI agree that emotionally/mentally I'm also behind, developmentally. It IS exhausting that simple things, for us, take so much effort (like putting together a meal, even settling into a daily routine). I remember thinking a few months ago (and for some things even a few weeks ago) that what I was doing wasn't sustainable because it was just SO hard, but things have gotten easier, even if just a little less effortful. It will shift. =]
ReplyDeleteAll the things you mentioned take an exhausting amount of effort, and I look forward to the day that creating a daily routine including my meals is not exhausting. I look forward to experiencing the shift you talk about Gina, and if you have any tips, please let me know!
Deleteand all that effort will be so worthwhile when you get there.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking your word for it Jackie - it's easier to believe what others tell me than it is to believe myself these days, so I appreciate your confidence!!
Delete