self-es teem [self-i-steem, self-] noun
a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
And I have none.
It's almost as if it's an effect of recovery. To overcome this, it's as if gaining some self esteem is a side-effect. And that is really good news for someone like me. It means I have a chance to take a new perspective. I have a chance to see myself through new eyes. I have a chance to see in me what others seem to see, which is a pretty cool person (it makes me ill to write that) that has a lot to offer the world.
I can say that without self esteem, life is not terribly happy. It doesn't take much to rob someone of self esteem, and it's worth the effort it takes to build it.