Saturday, July 7, 2012

Choice or Challenge?

The past two and a half days, I have been with out power.  Without power means no fans or AC on 100+ degree days.  (Yes, multiple days.)  Just so happens that I had stocked my fridge and freezer on Tuesday, with good choices to help me meet my daily goal.... only to have the power go out on Wednesday at four am.  Because of my food allergies, stocking my fridge costs a lot more than you'd think. 

And today, I had to throw 90% of it away.  Which really frustrated me.  For as much as I don't like food, I hate wasting it even more.

The way I see it, there are two perspectives I could take on the experience: 

I could look at it as a challenge - the chance to see how strong I am in my recovery and how well I can roll with this unexpected and very unwelcome challenge.  I could show my team how much progress I've made.

I could look at it as a choice - I am faced with a decision, do I choose to use this as an excuse to slip backward?  Or do I choose to use this as a chance to see how strong I've become?

I would really love it if I could wholeheartedly jump up and down, yelling gleefully "I did it!  I made it!  I successfully passed this challenge!"

Except that would be dishonest.

I can't completely berate myself either- I wasn't a 100% failure.  I didn't completely give in to my old habits.  I didn't let this become a full-on race backward down the path of regression.

Instead, this was a learning experience.  I learned how reliant I am on technology.  And while I didn't make my daily goals like I am supposed to, I didn't completely throw the days away, either.  I landed somewhere in the ballpark (albeit way in the outfield) of where I should be on an average-low day.

I learned that I am not strong enough to be unsupported through this type of challenging situation.  I learned that I am strong enough to not completely give in to old urges.  I learned that I've made some progress, but I still have a ways to go.

And somehow, through it all?  I managed not to melt!

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