It's given me the opportunity to learn how to take care of myself. I never really knew how to take care of myself, meet my own needs, before. The eating disorder controlled me for more than half my life. I was such a people pleaser, a peacemaker, a caregiver - always trying to make sure everyone else's needs were met..... and I did that all at the expense of my own needs, of my own care. I ended up sacrificing my own well-being to help others. All part of my issues.
My team helped me to see that part of recovery means that I start taking care of myself. Start speaking up for myself. Start putting myself on the list (and eventually, at the top of the list) so that I don't burn myself out. So that I don't need to "medicate" with eating disordered behaviors. Because I was so low in my disease, I had no choice but to ask for help, and it's through recovery that I learned how to ask and accept support.Oddly, I guess that I could say this has all been a blessing disguised as living hell. Cause it has been through the recovery process that I am finally learning to take care of myself, something that I should have been learning all my life......
So much of what you write about rings true for me. I particularly love the quote on this post - I'm going to print it out and post it prominently in my home and share it with all the women I know. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that the quote spoke to you! This whole messy process of recovery is so complicated, I like how the quote boils it down to one thing: self-care. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteEnjoyed your post. I always had the "disease to please", and know I was raised that way. "NO" was not acceptable, and when I would say it, I was told I was being selfish etc etc. I learned on Oprah that NO, was a word she had trouble with and always felt like she had to say "yes" to things and others. I am working on that and putting myself first now at this point in my life (46) and don't feel that is is "selfish". Love the quote you listed, it is true! All the best to you!
ReplyDelete"disease to please" is so fitting! It's been my life story, that's for sure. It was so much easier to take care of others rather than myself! Glad it's starting to (finally) change!
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