June Blog Challenge Day 15: NOW
Now is so terrifying I can't even begin to describe it. But it's getting better! And it changes, actually. Cause right *now* I am panicking about all the work that has to be done to close up my classroom for the summer, and not a lot of time to do so. This year is more challenging than previous years because construction is being done, which requires a lot more room prep than ever before.
Right now, I'm sad that today is the last day of school with my beloved class. They are such an incredible group, and while I'm always sad when I say goodbye to my class on the last day of school, this year it's even tougher.
Right now, I'm not looking forward to summer as much as I'd like. I thrive on structure and schedule, and without the imposed schedule of the school year... I will struggle.However.
Sometimes, the moments are really quite nice. Those moments where I wish *now* would never end. The further I get into recovery, the more those moments appear. I do like it when they happen, because it makes now a lot less scary.
Ironically, I really do try to take things one day at a time, one step at a time, one task at a time, sometimes, one bite at a time. That helps me live in the now a bit better.
Ok, well, maybe I'm getting a bit better at now, I just don't like it... yet!
NOW can be such a scary place to be in - especially when 'now' is a place in which you are unwell or struggling or unsure somehow. What matters most with 'now' is what you do with it. I love how honest you are and I hope you value that in yourself xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Tracey! I try to hold on to the idea that every moment is preparing me for the next, and what I learn in the now will be helpful in the later. Eh, sometimes it helps... sometimes? Not so much!
Deletei really really love that quote you have on here.
ReplyDeletemindfullness and living in the now CAN be scary... but I know the more you work on it and allow yourself to "uncomfortably" live in the moment... it will start to become more comfortable and eventually be a place you want to be rather than not.
There is a yoga sutra that talks about being secure with insecurity, being certain with uncertainty, and being comfortable with discomfort, it's a mantra I try to remember when I wish I could hide from now!
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