Figuratively, of course. But that's where I am. I've finally hit the wall.
I've made it three whole days (which I know in the grand scheme of things, isn't very long) at school, busying myself as best as I can helping others get things done and get rooms ready, all the while, patiently waiting for my room to be ready. And I have been VERY patient.
But today, I reached my limit. I am a very emotional person, but I have been very proud of the fact that I haven't once cried at school over the situation. Other teachers in somewhat similar situations as mine, have been in tears multiple times. I'm the only one who still isn't in my classroom. And had this been last year, the year before, heck, had this happened any other year, I'd have been in tears at school.
This year, instead, I'm holding it together at school. All day long I'm able to stay upbeat and positive, and truly enjoying having time to be helping others. Then I get in my car, and cry my way home. I have cried my way to therapy twice this week, and cried my way home. I cried my way to my nutritionist's office, and cried my way home. And it's only Wednesday.
I have finally hit my breaking point, and tonight has been a tear-filled, messy, messy night. I crashed into that wall hard. And it hurts.
I know that by the time my students walk in on that first day (only 5 short days away) my room will be presentable. It might not be up to my standards, but it will work, and when those smiling faces walk in, I will be smiling right back at them.