Saturday, September 1, 2012

Challenge 8, Part 1: Learning

It's ironic that this week's topic is learning, because boy did I do a lot of that this week, and much of it was unexpected and happened in a way that I didn't realize I was even learning!

I know this quote is somewhat cliche, and a bit old school, but this was my week (except for the last line about being beautiful, of course.)  I found an inner strength that I didn't realize I had.  I was braver than I thought I could be.  And even more than that, through all the insanity, I remained calm.  At least on the outside.

See, this week was back to school week.  Time to set up the classroom.  Four whole days dedicated to setting up and getting ready.  But my room wasn't ready for me to set it up.  It wasn't even ready for me to be in until after quittin' time on day four.  Which meant that for four days, I watched my colleagues get their rooms ready.  I watched them excitedly open their classroom supply orders and put everything away.

And I wanted to cry.  I wanted to yell.  I wanted to throw a temper tantrum.  Cause my room was the ONLY room not ready.  Not safe to be in because of construction chaos.

Instead, I stayed strong.  I kept a brave face.  I made myself as useful as I could.  And when I did need to cry (which happened the whole way home each day) I escaped to my good friend's quiet classroom.  No one knew how upset I was on the inside.  And it seemed that the more upset I got inside, the calmer I became on the outside.  I've always been able to do that IN the classroom.  But this?  Even this was more than I expected.

So what did I learn?  That when push comes to shove, and strong is the only thing you can be, I can pull it together and be that. (And fall apart afterward.  Which for now, is gonna have to be ok!)

2 comments:

  1. I think you are awesome.
    seriously honey you are.
    There is such strength in being able to pull things together and find a calm when life is anything but; and yet there is even more strength in recognising the need for release, to find a place that feels safe and cry.
    Both acts are ones of strength.
    xxx

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    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks Tracey! I really shocked myself this week. One of my mentors said that every person in the building was thinking "thank goodness it isn't me." If I were in their shoes, I'd have probably been thinking the same thing. It sure was an interesting challenge to work through, and I really hope I'm outta tears, at least for a little while! xoxo

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