The other night I was invited to a friend's for dinner. It had been a really long day, part of this crazy long week, and I was exhausted. I knew that if I went to dinner, I'd not be good company, as I'd likely be slowly slipping into that place that I land in when I'm overtired. The friend who invited me is one who I can lean on, and actually have in past emotional overload situations.
This is one of those times when loneliness kicks in, and I wish that I had a significant other... Cause if I were in a healthy relationship,
I'd have someone there for me when I need that kind of comfort. And if
I were in a healthy relationship, it'd mean that I'd have that kind of
relationship with myself, too. The one where I'd have learned how to
comfort myself appropriately. Where I've learned how to sit with and
feel my emotions. Where I'd have learned to let anger out without
explosions and rage. Where I'd have learned to feel the whole range of feelings, and not let them suffocate me.
Cause I know
all of that needs to be present in my relationship with myself
before I'll ever be able to have a healthy relationship with someone
I have a lot to learn... I am willing to do the work.... I just don't think I'm there yet...