Week 10: Accomplishments

Funny timing, this week's topic is.

Even a week ago, my accomplishment list would have been sorta short, and very mundane - graduating high school, graduating college, getting a job, buying a home, etc, etc, etc.

But this week?  This week brought about a very powerful accomplishment.

I had my first "real" job interview.  And I think it went pretty ok, too.

You might be wondering what I mean, since you likely know that I have an awesome teaching job that I love, which is true.  I do have a fantastic job that I absolutely love, working with children at an age I enjoy.  So didn't I interview for that job?  Sorta.  See, I was in the school for two years before I was hired, so my interview was more like sitting down with an old friends and chatting, and less like a job interview with a stranger.

This interview was for a job that would be pretty spectacular.  I'd still get to work with kids, but in a drastically different environment.  I'd still be doing what I love, even more of it, actually, but the environment...... can't explain how different it would be.

I don't intend to leave my current job.  I love it too much.  I wanted to go on the interview to see if I could do it, if I could keep it together, stay presentable, and survive an interview with strangers instead of colleagues I knew.

I accomplished that.

Now back to work!

I Want to Write More

I recently realized how censored I've been on the blog.  I am watching my words very carefully, and in doing so, am limiting myself and my posts.  I'm not sure why all of a sudden I recognized this, and hope to change that.

Starting now.

It's no surprise that for someone recovering from an eating disorder, the holiday season, in the states kicked off by Thanksgiving, is not an easy one to maneuver through.  Throw in there an invasive medical procedure requiring fasting and a liquid diet, and it could be a recipe for disaster. 

I'd like to say that I've staved off that disaster.  Which, I kinda sorta have, actually!  I survived the liquid diet day, I survived the morning of fasting, I survived the test, and I've actually managed to get back on the eating wagon pretty quickly!

So, I have staved off the disaster.  I was going to add an "and yet......" but I don't have one.  When it comes down to it, Yes, I got back up to near goal within days of the torture.  I survived Thanksgiving, ate well all weekend, and am pretty close to back to my required goal area.

But.

Image from Shirt Woot Derby - if you created this,
please let me know so I can give you credit!

(There's nearly always a but for me.)

While I'm doing pretty darn well getting to goal..... what I'm eating to get there is SO not the best....... it's mediocre, at best.  I guess you could say I have a very child-like palate.  I prefer peanut butter and jelly and apple sauce over Caesar salad and grilled salmon.  I prefer chocolate milk over wine.  I prefer cereal over eggs.  I prefer macaroni and cheese over risotto.

I have simple tastes.  Add in some food intolerances and a refusal to give up my vegetarianism, and, well, I make things in the "eating appropriately" department rather tricky.  My dietitian (who has the patience of a saint) has been working her @$$ off trying to figure out other sources of protein for me.  Most of which, I turn my nose up to and come up with some reason or another why I can't eat it.

Truth is, I need more protein.  I desperately need more protein.  My body needs it.  (Though, this is all coming from my team, I don't crave protein, nor do I know what my body would feel like in it's quest to obtain more protein!)  I know it's good for me.

Then again, so is writing..........

Ten. Eleven. Twelve.

I can't resist a chance to bring a little mathematical logic into the blog-o-sphere, and today is one of those mathematically magical days that will only come around two more times in my lifetime.

Image from heodeza.blogspot.com

Today is October 11, 2012.
That makes today 10/11/12.

Now, with my fascination with numbers, I wanted to post on 10/11/12 at 13:14:15, but I kinda forgot.  But just because I forgot at that moment, didn't mean I was going to let this day escape without at least a little acknowledgement.

And you know what?  Today was a pretty good day.  I had an *awesome* therapy session, one where I left actually smiling instead of with a wad of tissue, blotchy eyes, and a runny nose (which happens more often than not.)  No matter how my therapy goes, I am always grateful for my therapist, who puts up with my incessant need to re-hash topics over and over and over until they get through my thick skull.

I'm one lucky person in the grand scheme of things, because even on my worst days, I know my team will be there to pick me up when I need them.  And on the better days, like today, which are still few and far between, I can record these moments so as to remember them on days when my team IS picking me up off the floor....

Happy 10/11/12!  See you on 11/12/13!

Week 33: Prized Possession

Wow.  Most prized possession.  Does my house count?  Cause I am pretty proud of the fact that I, basically on my own, found a place to live, bought it (or am paying the mortgage) and have been fiscally responsible since moving out on my own.  It's quite a feat for me, actually.

But I'm not sure that a house counts as a possession.... So I guess.... well... I guess I'd say that I really value the pictures I have from when we had family gatherings when I was little.  Those are pretty special.  Back when I didn't realize how abnormal my life really was.

But that's a collection of things, so maybe that doesn't count either.... Alright.  I have it.  My most prized possession.

My teaching certificate.

It was a looonnnnggggg and rocky road getting through high school graduation and into college, and an even looonnnngggggeeeerrrr road getting through college.  When I got the phone call telling me I had gotten the job, my dream job in my dream building, in my dream grade?  All that was worth it.  The long journey to earn that teaching certificate has made me the teacher I am today.  Without that certificate, I would not be allowed to teach, to do what I love to do, and to work with the amazing kids and families that I do.  That certificate makes it all possible.  And I earned it. (And yes, 11 years after first earning that certificate, I still love my job and can't imagine doing anything else!)

Challenge 3, Part 1: What is Self Empowerment?

Self Empowerment makes me think of that good old slogan "girl power!" that I grew up hearing over and over again.  Yes, I am a child of the 80's... and somewhat the 90's... and we always used to respond to "turtle power!" with "girl power!" as kids.  Empowerment is a good thing in my mind, it means that you are doing something (generally) positive for yourself because it's good to do, or you want to do it.  I remember the first time I took an English style riding lesson (I had been riding Western for a while) and how empowering it felt to be in the smaller saddle, and how strong I felt being able to quickly pick up the English style, quick enough to compete in an English style walk-trot class just three days after my first lesson!  I felt so strong and powerful on that pony's back, and I was so proud of myself for trying something new, competing so quickly, and I even won a fourth place ribbon!  (Yes, there were more than four riders in the class!)

I was reading a bit about equine therapy recently, and how many of the riders feel strong and powerful when they are astride the wonderfully patient horse... how for many riders, it's the only time they've ever experienced legs strong enough to carry them around, to feel what it's like to move on your own accord, instead of with a walker or wheelchair.  Talk about empowering!  Watching kids climb aboard for the first time?  Their grin?  Their happiness?  Empowering.  Equines really do empower, in so many ways.

Looking back, I felt most empowered during my equestrian days.  I loved the freedom being on horseback gave me, I loved the thrill of trying something new, because I felt secure on back of my horse or pony.  I had confidence in my ability as a rider, not because my coach told me I was good enough, but because I just knew in my heart, that on my horse, I could do anything.  I was involved with horses for almost 15 years, from the ground up, as the stable grunt and the show star.  Learning how to ride, how to do everything involved in taking care of a horse, I felt so good!  I didn't even mind mucking stalls, because I knew how important it was to my horse.  Things were just different around horses.  On the back of my trusted horse(s), I felt alive.  I felt empowered.

Week 26: Something Positive about ME

First, I have to say, that had I been given this prompt last year, or six months ago, or even three months ago, I probably would not have been able to answer it.  At all.

However, now that even my worst days are better than my best days used to be, there are a few positives I can point out, despite the incredibly challenging weekend I've been having.  (Of course this prompt would fall at a time where I'm struggling!)

 The Help

1.  I love the color of my eyes.  They are speckled with flecks of brown and green, dancing on a blue background.

2.  I am a good teacher.  (Others will say that I am an exemplary or dynamic teacher and though they might believe it, I can not speak those words.)

3.  I am good with computers.  And technology in general.  And I'm good at teaching people of all ages the basics of technology.

There.  Three whole things that I can say without feeling ill.  Three whole things that I can say and I can mean it when I say them.  Three might not be a lot, but it's three more than I used to be able to say...

Week 25: Something I'm Proud Of

Let's take a quick peek back at the accomplishments I wrote about way back in December for week 10.  Did you click the link?  Read up?  Good.

I can say that I am still proud of the accomplishments I wrote about nearly seven months ago.  They all stand true today.  Especially teaching, I am so proud of all my students, and the way we impact each other.  I am proud to say that I still love my job, despite the challenges over the years.

I am proud that I have chosen to continue to walk the path in front of me.  It's not been an easy journey and there are many, many times where I wanted to give up.  But I didn't.  I won't give up.  I am proud of my decision to join my team in the fight against my challenges.  I'm proud of the fact that I still show up for therapy and dig into things I don't want to acknowledge, much less look at and talk about.  I'm proud of the fact that I've learned to better take care of myself during family situations that get out of hand.  Instead of toughing it out and letting my family walk all over me, I will now do what I need to do to take care of me, even though it feels impossibly hard.

I'm proud of this blog.  I never thought that I'd become a blogger.  Sure, I've always loved to write, but I've shared my writing with maybe 5-6 people, three of whom were my former teachers.  Otherwise, my writing has always been private.  I never thought it good enough to share.

Hmmmm.... pride.... this is a pretty decent list of things to be proud of... if only I can transfer them into sources of confidence.... guess I'll just have to wait and see!

Week 10: Accomplishments

ac·com·plish·ment      [uh-kom-plish-muhnt]    noun.  1. an act or instance of carrying into effect; fulfillment  2. something done admirably or creditably  3. anything accomplished; deed; achievement

I successfully completed my K-12 public education.  Granted, I graduated oh, 15 years ago, but I still consider it quite an accomplishment!

I successfully earned my bachelor's degree in elementary education.  That only took six years.  But it was worth it!  I can honestly say I am working in the job of my dreams.  I LOVE what I do.  I LOVE being a teacher.

The dome of the state capital building.  September 2010
Not my accomplishment, but whoever created this - WOW!

Yeah, I have bad days, I get frustrated with all the paperwork, with the extra hours, the scheduling demands, trying to meet the needs of 20+ individual students within in the context of a set amount of time and with a given set of resources.  But I manage.  More than that, I love it.  I get to make a difference in the lives of my students and their families.  Even after they are no longer in my class, the influence still lingers... I try to always make it a good one.  That's an accomplishment!

Let's see... what else have I accomplished.  This blog is an accomplishment.  I've wanted to start one for a while, but always managed to find a reason not to.  Not this time!

Accomplishments... upon making the decision to move out on my own, I have been able to fully support myself.  I've been able to pay my bills, keep food in the fridge, keep the heat running in the winter and the air running in the summer... I've even been able to do a little traveling!  For someone who is afraid of the unknown, flying across the country the first time was pretty scary, but I did it!  And have done it several times since that first anxiety-filled flight.  That's an accomplishment!

Accomplishments... ok, this might sound a little odd, but sometimes, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment in itself... or getting dressed... even eating three decent meals.  All accomplishments, depending on where I am in life at that moment.

Do animals ponder their accomplishments?
Photo taken June 2010

Accomplishments... I love technology.  I have learned how to create and edit videos.  I can take, edit, and manipulate photos.  I've created websites and blogs.  I can mix music that is used in the videos I create.  I can do basic graphic design to create all sorts of things.  Heck, I can even install hardware on both laptops and desktops (Mac and PC, thank you very much!)  I have created and shared multimedia presentations using a variety of technological tools... that's a lot to accomplish considering it's all been self taught!

Life in itself is an accomplishment.  Every day I continue to breathe, to think, to live... all accomplishments... and living each day?  I can't wait to see what else I accomplish in life!

"Success isn't just about what you accomplish in your life... 

it's about what you inspire others to do." -- unknown