NEDA Week - Light it up blue

Tonight, all around the country, landmarks and buildings will be lit up blue to raise awareness about eating disorders.  The list has grown from years past, and while not every state is included, each new location added to the list that lights it up blue makes a difference!

Landmarks Lit Up

Yup.  Truth.  Depression and anxiety can even mask eating disorders.  They're good at that.  Take a few minutes, take the screening, share it with a friend you're concerned about, talk to your doctor.... take the time to take care of you....

NEDA Week 2016

It's that time of year again - National Eating Disorder Awareness week.  This year's theme is 3 minutes can save a life.  And they can.  All it takes is 3 minutes to take a screening of which you can bring the results to your doctor and you can begin getting the support you need to regain a positive relationship with food.  Or in my case, begin building a positive relationship with food.

As an aside, most of the time, if not all of the time, eating disorders are not about food.  Not even close.  Food is the tool, the drug so to speak, that covers the real issues.  If you think you have an eating disorder, get help.  You're worth it.

NEDA Week 2015 - Possibilities

Wrapping up the week with a bit of reflection...

Everybody Knows Somebody

NEDA 2013

Infographics

BodyLove

Statistics

Reality

Size vs Style

Anatomy of an ED

Secrets

I Had No Idea

What Matters

30 Day Recovery Challenge

NEDA Week 2015 - Bullying

This fact from NEDA made me stop and think.

Back in high school, I had very few friends.  Ok, I had like 4 friends at school, the rest of my friends were through unrelated extra-curriculars.

That made for a rather lonely lunch time.  One that often found me eating in the corner of a stairwell I knew wasn't that busy during lunch.  Or hiding in the back corner of the library, cause I knew I wouldn't be found.  If I was lucky, I was able to eat in a classroom.  But after freshman year, nearly all of my lunches were eaten solo.

And really, when I think about it, after freshman year, all of my lunches sucked, too.  They were about as good for you as eating a case of Hershey bars.

I ate french fries, hostess cupcakes, and Hawaiian punch nearly every single day from sophomore year through graduation. 

As isolated and lonely as I was, I never really saw myself as bullied.  I avoided the people who were unkind to me.  I avoided people in general, really.  Today, that might be seen as being bullied, but back then?  Eh.  It was what it was.

I do know that those who isolate often are hiding or covering something up.  I wished many times during those days that someone would come up to me and befriend me, or offer to help me get support.  I mean, in my mind, everyone else was living this awesome, family-friendly life, while I was hiding in my own skin.

Speak up.  Reach out.  You never know the impact you'll make.....

NEDA Week 2015 - Barbie Who?

Read full page HERE.

NEDA Week 2015 - No Blame

Not just not a phase,
but also not a blame game.

Parents.
You did NOT cause your child's eating disorder.

And for those of you (us) that have eating disorders,
you can NOT blame it on your parents.

I don't know that I ever "blamed" my parents, per say, for my eating disorder.  I do, though, wish they would have been a little more involved in my world, because maybe then they would have noticed something was up. 

Or at least, if they were more involved, maybe I'd have been better able to talk to them.  At any rate, the past is the past, and the best is yet to come.....

 

NEDA Week 2015 - Media Matters

My favorite show growing up was a Disney piece called Kids, Incorporated.  I wanted to be like one of the characters, Renee, as she had hair similar to mine. 

Even as an eight year old, I knew I wasn't pretty.  I wanted to be pretty like Renee.  As the show continued, and Renee grew, I watched her get heavier, and decided I no longer wanted to be like her.  I was probably ten when I recognized that her weight gain was not a good thing.  Didn't matter that in "real life" she was probably hitting puberty, and her body was naturally doing what bodies do.  But to me, she was getting fat.  And I was not going to let my body do that.

Now days, kids are exposed to SO much more media than I was.  I mean, I pretty much watched Kids, Inc, and maybe a few shows on Nickelodeon, but that was it.  I never read teen magazine, I preferred Disney magazine.  I just wasn't exposed to what kids are today.  For that, I consider myself lucky.

As an older teen, I was (and truthfully, continue to be) easily influenced by media.  I remember spending many Friday nights walking around the mall with my BFF at the time.  She loved looking at all the clothes in the store windows.  I loved looking at all the people and deciding if I wanted to be like them or not.  I was twelve.

I had already spent years as a chameleon - I could like whatever the person I was with at the time liked.  This was one more step into the distorted body image challenge that continues to follow me around as an adult.

While I still struggle with food and eating and body image in general, as a teacher, I make certain that my words remain neutral, positive, and encouraging to my students in all areas.  They need to know that who they are right this second is just right.  It doesn't matter what their favorite actor or singer looks like or does.  Their little bodies are exactly as they should be, and just like their job right now is school, their other job is to feed their body healthy stuff, and stay active.  I just hope they remember this when the media becomes their main teacher.

NEDA Week 2015 - I Had No Idea

When I was 13, my friends and I decided to become vegetarians.  That was 24 years ago.  And it was a huge clue that my eating had become disordered.  I just didn't know it at the time.

My parents were rather clueless, too.  You'd think that if your 13 year old announces that she's becoming a vegetarian, you'd look for alternative protein sources for her, so her body gets the nutrients it needs.

Nope. 

Instead, my meals consisted of the "typical" meal stuff, minus the meat.  Which meant that my dinner often consisted of salad and a vegetable.  Or, sometimes it was just cereal.  And I was fine with that.

Truth be told, my disordered eating began much younger.  I slowly refused to eat certain foods, I think I was eight when spaghetti became the enemy, and by ten pizza was out too.  People found it funny that in going out to eat with friends after lessons, I'd often have a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of croutons with ranch dressing.  That was it.

My parents continued to be clueless. 
And I had no idea I was hiding an eating disorder.

Kicking off NEDA Week 2015

It's that time of year again. 
No, not spring cleaning or holiday shopping. 
It's NEDA week.
That's - National Eating Disorder Awareness - week.

Every year since I started this blog, I've taken this week to shine some light on what the The American Journal of Psychiatry says that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

Yup.  You read that right.  Highest mortality rate.

And these "disordered eating habits" can start early.

According to NEDA, approximately 80% of all 10 year old girls have dieted.  80%.  I teach 10 year olds.  I've seen it first hand.  It makes my heart hurt and my stomach turn.

The same study shows that 70% of girls ages six to 12 would like to lose weight.  

While there are many, many reasons eating disorders take hold of their victim, blaming helps no one.  Instead of placing blame, educate yourself.  Become aware.  Speak up.  You can make a difference.

NEDA Week: What Matters

Truth.

I have been battling my body for as long as I can remember.
For an equally long time, I considered myself broken.
Unrepairable.
All I focused on was the flaws, the grossness.

Reality?

Yeah, I'm not that together.
Yeah, I have a lot of broken pieces and parts.
But I'm repairable.
And the mending process has already begun.

NEDA Week: Where I Stand

This is a new resource to me.  I found it..... I don't even know how I found it, but I wanted to share it with you, as their Purple Project is a powerful piece of Eating Disorder Awareness Month.  They have easy to follow, simple to read resources outlining the different types of eating disorders, as well as links to many, many resources (some of which I've already shared.)

I think my favorite part of this resource, though, is their "I wear purple" campaign.  It's quite inspiring, if you ask me!

NEDA Week: Celebrity

I'm a HUGE fan of the Hunger Games.  No, not literally starving myself to be hungry, the book series by Suzanne Collins.  Through the series, and the movies, I've also become a fan of Jennifer Lawrence.  Here are a few reasons why:

Read more about Jennifer Lawrence and her thoughts on body stuff:

In Hollywood I'm Obese
It's Dumb to be Hungry to Make Others Happy
It Should be Illegal to Call Someone Fat

NEDA Week: The Media

There are some crazy facts about how the media has become such a powerful influence on us, myself included.  I actually don't watch the news anymore because it is too disturbing to me.  There aren't enough "smile stories" shared.

I also know how much I push myself because I don't look like those I see on television, I'm too different.  I don't like what I do to myself. I don't like how I let the media's decisions on what is "pretty" or "beautiful" impact my own choices.

Yet, I'm the only one with the power to change my mind.

I'm working on it.

Are you?

NEDA Week: I had NO Idea

This year's campaign is "I had no idea" which is something so many people say when faced with a loved one revealing an eating disorder.  I had no idea......  Well, here are a few facts that you will probably think "I had no idea!" about.  Please read them.  Share them.  And if someone you care about is concerning you with their eating and body image situation, please talk to them.  Cause you DO have an idea now.......

Helpful Links:

• National Eating Disorders
• Eating Disorders Anonymous
• Eating Disorders Resource Center
• ANAD
• Jenni Schaefer
• Actively Arielle

NEDA Week: Secrets

Post Secret is a guilty pleasure of mine.  I wake up Sunday morning the first thing I do is check Sunday Secrets.  This week, in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, the secrets* are all on the topic of Eating Disorders.  I am not going to post any other postcards, as they may be disturbing or triggering.  I chose this one because it illustrates a key "element" of eating disorders: secrecy.

My eating disorder remained such a closely guarded secret for so long, I wasn't even aware I had one.  Once I realized that there was a chance I had an eating disorder, I still kept it secret from everyone, even my doctor.  It wasn't until I began working with my therapist that it couldn't be kept secret anymore.  And let me tell you, it was such a relief to have it out in the open.  Well..... out in the open with in my safe circle of trust, of course!  I am lucky.  I have an amazing support and treatment team that has helped me through the worst of things, and continue to help me on my path to recovery.

In the rest of the world, my eating disorder is still a secret.  I wish it wasn't.  I wish I had more people to talk to, more people that I trusted with this deep, dark, secret.  But I don't.  I trusted two very close friends when I first came clean with my eating disorder, and their reactions deterred me from telling others.  At this point, nearly 3 years after diagnosis, outside of my treatment team, only six people know my secret.  Makes it very hard to reach out for help.......

If you need help........ please reach out!  You can start right HERE.

*This link may only direct to eating disorder secrets until March 1st, at which point it may shift to whatever secrets are there.

Kicking off NEDA Week

Today kicks of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, and the theme for this year's week is "I had NO idea."

I am really familiar with this theme, cause the few people I told about my eating disorder responded with their own "I had no idea!"  Followed by many stereotypical responses that only further fueled my eating disorder, and led to sharing it with few others.

My goal is to post daily during this week, sharing bits about my recovery process (one I am still in.......) and resources for those who are struggling or know someone who is struggling with an eating disorder.

*Here's a few facts to kick off the week:

•  You can't tell whether someone has an eating disorder based on their age, gender, ethnicity, size, or sexuality.  Basically, you can't tell by looking if someone has an eating disorder.
• Eating disorders are as serious as heart attacks - they have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder.
• Despite stereotypes that eating disorders only effect women, one in three or four men/boys also struggle with them.
• Sadly, more than 2/3 of youth struggling with an eating disorder have not gotten the treatment they need.
• In the United States, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.

Eating disorders are no joke at all.  If you're concerned about a friend or loved one, speak up!  Pay a visit to NEDA's website for support in approaching those you care about.  There's support for them, and for you.

*Facts courtesy of the NEDA website.

Act 26

I tried my best to coordinate the completion of my 26Acts with the end of National Eating Disorder Awareness week.  Which officially ended yesterday.

That's ok.  You can consider this post the "wish candle" if you'd like.  Because this act, while equally as powerful as the other 25, is the perfect way to cap a week of awareness.

I have an eating disorder.  I have been battling it privately and in denial for more than half my life.  It's the last two years that I sought help, and have embraced recovery.

One of the first resources my dietitian suggested was this book.  Impatient that I am, I ordered it for my Kindle so I'd have it instantly, and then ordered it so I'd also have the hard copy.  And reading it really, really, really helped me understand how deep I really was.  And how hard it would be for me to end my relationship with Ed.

Which I have, nearly severing the ties completely.

My hope is that the person who finds this book at the book store is able to find the comfort and support in it that I did.  I tabbed my favorite post, the one that broke through the resistance I worked so hard to build.

School psychologist, Mary Sherlach, was a huge support in the lives of many.  She took pride in helping students overcome problems and succeed.  At 56, she was a year away from retiring from 20 years as the school psychologist.  This was not the first time she put herself in the path of danger, as she headed toward where the shots were fired.  Mary also helped neighbors during the havoc Hurricane Sandy threw into the community.  When she wasn't helping others, she enjoyed theater, gardening, and spending time with her husband and two grown daughters.

I'm closing this chapter, these 26 Acts, with Mary's own words: "I.... am always ready to assist in problem solving, intervention and prevention."  The world is a better place because of Mary.  And my world is a better place because of these 26 Acts.

Reflecting on NEDA Week

Anatomy of an Eating Disorder

This is going to sound SO cliche, but this week has been quite an eye-opener for me.  Life pitched one too many curve balls my way, and it took a huge effort not to strike out.  I've learned a lot, read a lot, shared a lot, and I'm a week further into recovery than I was when the week began.

Please remember something very important.  While this week has been designated National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, eating disorders strike at any time, any person, any place.... eating disorders are treatable mental illnesses, but they MUST be brought to light before any change can occur.

Please don't wait until this week next year.... continue shining light on eating disorders, and all mental illnesses.  In eliminating the secrecy, we eliminate some of the power of the illness.

And never forget, one person can make a difference.  Even if it feels like your words are falling upon deaf ears.

I had a hard time choosing the final blog to feature for the week.  So I'm going to include a few for your perusal.  Arm yourself, you never know when the knowledge will come in handy!

The Begin Within blog has some great resources and not just for eating disorders.  My favorite post on the blog is Carrot, Egg, or Coffee Bean.  A very insightful read.

Psych Central has a ton of resources, and I get easily overwhelmed on the site.  Somehow though, I landed on Margarita Tartakovsky Weightless Blog, and I'm happy I did.  She tackles body image in general, and we all know how much help I need in that department!

We Are the Real Deal is a blog that my dietitian introduced me to.  It's a great all-around resource for eating disorders, body image, recovery, and life in general.

She'll Be Free is a blog that I bookmarked ages ago, and since has moved to a new host.  Don't let the lack of posts on the site fool you, the archives go way back!

Anyway, I know there's been a lot of posts on the blog this week, between wrapping up 26Acts, kicking off the 30 Day Recovery Challenge, and NEDA week..... Thanks for sticking around and joining the ride!

NEDA Week: Size vs Style

I struggle with accepting my body as it is, because society tells me 

that my body should be different if I want to fit in.

Screw that.

I hope that by NEDA week next year, I have learned to at least 

accept my body as it is.  Might take a while longer for me to love it, 

but by next year, I want to at least not hate it.  

Ms. Piggy says it best....  

Today's featured blogger is Dr. Ashley Solomon at Nourishing the Soul.
This site runs the gamut - featuring blogs, guest posts, resources, and Nourishing tidbits that really settle in the soul in a special way.  Paraphrasing from the site, their mission is to cut through some of the societal pressures and celebrate every individual as the truly unique and beautiful souls that we are.

NEDA Week: Reality

I have an old postcard from the Body Shop that says something like "There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models and there are only 8 that do."  (I'll try to dig up the postcard later on.)  It's all over the media, all over the recovery/health industry - models today are depicting such a tiny margin of the general population.... 98% to be exact.... why?  Why can't we have real people as models?  Maybe it's time to rethink things.... we shouldn't have to change our body to fit the minority that society has deemed desirable.... but that's a whole different post!

Today's featured blogger is Carrie Arnold of Ed Bites.  Carrie's blog recently underwent a huge makeover, and has been packed with even more information, guidance, and unique to her blog, lots of scientific nuggets that get under the skin of eating disorders.  Carrie often combs the interwebs and pulls together recent and relevant articles about eating disorders and co-occurring conditions.  Definitely worth a peak!