Week 13: Forgiveness

 This.

This says it all.

This is kinda helpful, too.

Day 30: Letting Go

Letting go........ two simple words......... so many interpretations......

Ironic that this is today's prompt, as today, I let my grandmother go.  She graced this Earth for more than 90, very, very full years.

Letting go does not mean forgetting.  It does not mean pretending things never happened.  It does not mean that the past is erased.

Letting go means moving forward.  It means picking up the pieces and creating a new picture.  It means growing.  It means forgiving.

As I let go to my grandmother, I will not forget all she has gifted my life with.  I will remember the good, let go of the bad, and forgive the hurts. 

Letting go means so many things.  Let go of the bad to make room for the good.  Let go and let the universe open to you, to the plans it has for you.  Let go, and just be.

Grandma, you will be missed......


Day 30 Prompt: React to this term: Letting Go.

30 Day Recovery Challenge: Day 24

24. What are some examples of things that your eating disorder has taken from you?

My eating disorder robbed me of a lot.  Including the ability to enjoy food.  I eat because I have to.  Not because I want to.  I know so many people who crave specific dishes, who love cooking and eating, who know how to savor a good meal.  Not me.  Eating is still a lot of work.  It's a chore.  Something that must get done each day, and in no way enjoyable.  At least not yet. 

I also think that I let my eating disorder have what little confidence I had.  I hid behind it with a plethora of excuses for avoiding the "normal" life experiences that one has as they move through their teen years, their high school years, their college years....

I'm trying to leave that behind me.  To let go of the old behaviors.  To move past the missed opportunities.  To re-live the experiences that were skipped..... none of this is easy.  But who said life was easy? 

A Fresh Beginning

Arielle's Word-of-the-Day: FORGIVENESS

June Blog Challenge Day 25: FORGIVENESS

I have been (trying to) participate in another blog project, which was actually the impetus for this blog in the first place.  Weekly prompts (of which I am rather far behind) have addressed all sorts of topics, similar to the June blogger challenge.




As it would so happen, I wrote about forgiveness back in March.  Here's a link to that post.  Not a whole lot has changed in my world of forgiveness.  My therapist and I still discuss the topic of self-hatred/self-care pretty regularly.  I'd say I'm an inch closer than where I was back in March?  Maybe?

Forgiveness is such an important trait to have, 

it makes things a little less painful, 

even though the process of forgiveness

 may be a painful journey in itself.

Prompt: Maybe you need to forgive yourself. Maybe you are struggling to forgive another. Maybe forgiveness feels forced. Maybe you don’t understand it.  Maybe it is religious or faith based when you consider. Maybe it’s a lesson you have not yet learned. Talk about it in your own words.

Week 13: Forgiveness

I have thought a lot about forgiveness, and who I need to forgive in life.  I've spent lots of therapy hours dealing with the topic as well.  I'm pretty sure that I've forgiven my parents for all they did or did not do when I was growing up- neither of them had the best childhoods, and I know they did the best they could with my siblings and me.  In the grand scheme of things, they did ok, even though it wasn't always enough, it was all they could do.

The person I really need to forgive is myself.  I am a pretty mean person when it comes to self-talk.  Try as I might, when it comes down to it, I'm not my biggest fan.  I am working on that, though.  It isn't helpful when I spend my day verbally attacking myself.  The reality of it is that I too, am doing the best that I can with what I have.  Thankfully, I'm working on changing the way I treat myself, and it is so not easy.  As much as I wish my therapist had a magic wand and could *poof* make nicer thoughts come out of my brain, she can't.  What she can do is help me learn to be more kind and compassionate toward myself.  And that seems like it's going to take more than forgiveness.  It's going to take a miracle.

We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want

to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to

forgive begins the healing practice. -- Louise Hay