I don't know if it's the season, or what, but today I journeyed back in time.... I found myself visiting blog posts from a year ago, and I think I'm pleased by what I've found? Maybe? Sorta?
A year ago today, I posted "Got Feelings?" on the blog. The post was mostly about the fact that at that time, I was constantly fighting tears, and getting kind of sick of them! The quote "I hate the moment when suddenly my anger turns into tears." was incredibly fitting at the time, because a year ago, I was still refusing to feel any anger. I just couldn't let myself feel that emotion. I thought I'd burst and be overwhelmed if I let myself feel anger.
Fast forward to the present moment.... yeah, I'm still battling tears, and I'm still pretty depressed.... BUT.... I have begun the process of learning to FEEL my FEELINGS. All of them. Yep.... even anger. I still am working to identify some of these feelings, and the things that trigger them, but the good news is that I am actually able to feel them without exploding! I think that's a pretty good accomplishment!
Still working on a lot, still dealing with a lot of the same crud, but at a different layer. It's kinda like I'm reading and writing the next chapter all at the same time. I'm rather glad that I chose to do a look back today, because I tend to focus on how much more work I have ahead of me instead of pausing and realizing that I really have come a long way!