Change

I loved the TV show The Wonder Years.  I loved following Kevin Arnold as he meandered his way through adolescence and puberty.  His family was very down to Earth, and reminded me much of my own - three children, always enough money, but never an abundance.  I kind of wished that I could have been in their family, because at least in the 30 minute episode, the ending always came to some complete conclusion, wrapping things up in a way that didn't always make a happy ending, but sure made things simpler.

Anyway, this quote stands out to me, especially right now, because I'm both fighting the new changes that are necessary at this point in my life, and also fighting the old ways that needed to be changed anyway.  Change is for sure never easy.

I know that while the recent changes in my life have left me reeling, and sometimes hanging by a very fine thread, yet they've also been very necessary as a part of my growth in recovery and overall.  It's as if I'm fighting to start fresh, yet fighting to stay the same all at the same time.  Almost frustrating, actually.  Or, if I'm being honest, it's really frustrating.  Being in that space where you know what you're doing is necessary, but you hate it at the same time?  Yep.  I'm there.  And while I know in the grand scheme of things, this will be a good growth period, right now it just sucks.