Ugh. My therapist said something very similar to me this last week. She brought up the whole idea of "fake it till ya make it" which is a very popular and much-used slogan in the 12-step world.
And let me tell you it's exhausting. It takes so much effort for me to "fake it" that by the time I get home, all I want to do is sleep. It seems like it shouldn't be this much work! I know, I know, change is NOT easy.
Especially when you despise change the way I seem to. I do like to hang back and say things like, "I'll try that when I feel better." Or, "I'm not ready to try that yet."
You know what I'm talking about. So does my therapist.
Avoidance.
If nothing changes, then nothing changes.
And something's gotta change.
Been there, done that. It's hard to 'go through the motions,' but it does ultimately help. At least it keeps you from sliding back farther. I've seen the results of succumbing to "I'll do it when I'm ready" though. My M-I-L is a shattered heap of misery, always putting off the things that she really MUST to do because she's 'not ready.' I'm watching it kill her. She's letting it kill her, because it's easier than the work involved with change. She's my greatest motivation when I'm feeling down. I don't ever want to be that way!
ReplyDeleteI know someone similar to your MIL, Penny, so I get what you mean about motivation! It's funny how that can work. I like what you said "At least it keeps you from sliding back farther." Right now, I'll take what I can get! Good news is I WANT to change.... just a little completely freaking terrified of it!
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
I'm pretty good at avoidance myself. I usually ignore my issues until my body won't let me anymore and I melt down. Instead of avoiding my problems, I need to avoid the panic attacks. That would be healthier, but somehow now easier.
ReplyDeleteI so hear you! Ignoring things with the hope that they'll disappear? Yeah, hasn't worked for me yet. But it's still my first line of defence. Avoiding panic attacks would be healthier, but then life would be boring, dontcha think? ;)
Delete