Confession: I had really hoped that getting a pet, more specifically a dog, would fix a lot of my issues. I'd have someone else to take care of every day. I'd have an excuse to go out and walk at least three times a day (short as they may be!) I'd have someone to come home to who will love me unconditionally. I hoped that once I found the right pet (which I have,) things would get better.Maybe my thinking was naive. This little guy had a lot of hopes riding on his tiny shoulders that he can't carry. No one can. Getting a dog may have been a great thing for me, but it sure hasn't fixed things. Yes, I'm getting fresh air daily. I'm not spending every non-work moment in bed. I'm working on a home routine, even if it is for this four legged little guy (who, by the way, is a sleepy-head like me!)
But I had hoped for more.... I had hoped that having a dog would magically lift the depression fog that follows me around. I hoped that my anxiety would lessen... that I'd be more hopeful about life in general.... instead, I'm feeling hopelessly in love with a little dog who can't fix me. He can't make things better. He can't make me feel less depressed or less anxious or less hopeless. He can't make my world feel any less heavy, despite his lightness.
Maybe you can fix each other as the days pass by. He is so adorable. And now you have each other there's a lot more to be hopeful about. I know words are cheap, and I'm not trying to minimise your pain, but I really hope that as you develop some new routines with your new pup, a new light will creep into your days as you move through them.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan, he really is adorable! Ironically I had hoped that he'd have more energy and would be playful, but turns out he is a dog that loves to laze around and sleep all day, kind of like me on my weekends! You are right though, this is the chance to develop new routines and to open the blinds so that new light you speak of can creep in. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteMaybe the fixes will come as you guys continue to get to know each other and as you continue to venture out.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute dog.!
Thank you for your encouragement! He is adorable, and he's been feeling better so he's a lot more playful. I'm hoping that the longer we are together, the better things will be? Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI just want to congratulate you on this small victory. It takes so much courage to get up and "fight" against depression. Sometimes we get discouraged because we don't feel 100% better right away, but I've learned that we have to celebrate the small victories on our road to healing. The fact that you did something to help yourself takes so much strength and courage, and for that you should be proud. Celebrate your courage. Celebrate having the strength to "fight". Celebrate every moment that you don't spend in bed. These are the small victories that will get you where you want to be. You're on your way =) Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteCelebrating small victories, such an important reminder! I hadn't thought about this situation from that point, the place of looking at the fact that I'm actually trying to do something to remedy this depression. I really appreciate your insight Jennifer, and I'm glad you stopped by!
DeleteAww, he is such a cute dog! I am sure you will be in sync with him sooner or later :)
ReplyDeleteHi Marie! We're getting into a nice rhythm, and he is such a perfect dog for me! Who could resist that face?! Once the rhythm is settled, I'm hoping the fog starts lifting. I can hope, right?! Thanks for the comment!
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