Challenge 6, Part 2: The Self

I found this quote to be very interesting.  It sounds so simple, kind of like rewording that golden rule.  But the way I look at it, it's actually quite complicated.  I want people to treat me nicely, with kindness and respect.  However, I have not quite fully learned how to speak up for myself, in regards to the fact that I avoid confrontation at all costs.  Meaning, if someone isn't treating me nicely and respectfully, I will just suck it up and take it.  I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, and chalk it up to them having a bad day, and me being the one who absorbs it.  Do you see any problems with that?  Cause for a long time, I sure didn't!  Now, though, after going through enough therapy and enough recovery, I see that there is an alternative - I don't need to suck it up and absorb it anymore.  I want to be treated respectfully and kindly, and if someone isn't doing so, I am working to give myself permission to walk away.  Tell them "You know what, this isn't working for me right now, let's try again later," and just walk away.  Easier said than done, but I'm trying!

Challenge 4, Part 3: Self Confidence

Can you tell this week's topics have been a bit of a struggle for me?  I guess though, that thing Arielle has said, about struggle being a good thing?  That would make this one good week for me!

Self confidence... I really don't know what to say.  I could pretty much duplicate the post on self-esteem, cause it all applies here, too.  What can I say, I had a pretty interesting childhood, ok?  My past shaped the person I am today.  Which, now that I think about it, is a person with some self confidence in one area: teaching.

Put me in front of a room full of children and I am in my element.  Even better, put me in a room full of children with technology (that is reliable and functional!) and I'll be able to make some magic happen.  Or, more likely, those kids will be making magic happen by the time they leave.  My secret?  Treat the kids like they are valuable.  Like they matter.  Like their ideas and questions are worth listening to.  In other words, I treat my students the way I wish I was treated.

Then things come to a screeching halt, cause for some reason, when it comes to doing exactly that, treating myself the way I treat my students?  I lose all confidence and it becomes impossible to do.  Can you hear the irony knocking?

I've been told this recovery process can make miracles happen.  Hopefully one of those miracles will find me receiving the gift of self confidence.  Problem is, I know the gift giver.  And she's not very fond of me.  Hopefully that changes, too.