Challenge 12, Part 3: EMBRACE

This background for this quote was taking at an incredible 5K event.  I've never run a 5K, but after being there, my goal is to complete that same event next year. 

Yeah, um.  I'm so not there yet.  My body might be the most amazing thing that I'll ever own, but more often than not, I don't feel like I "own" it, instead, I feel like my body "owns" me.  I mean, I have to deal with all the aches and pains that come from years of mistreatment.  I have to deal with the allergies, the sensitivities, the maintenance, all the stuff that isn't fun.

And all the while I really do try to remind myself that my body is a gift, and that others would be grateful to be in this vessel.

Truthfully, as much as I don't like my body, I really am grateful for it.  Even though there are bodies out there that I'd much prefer, I could have ended up with a body much worse off than the one I'm in.

How does this all fit in the "embrace" genre?  Well, I have fully embraced the idea that this body is mine, for the rest of my life.  Though right now I'm not fond of it, I'm reminded pretty regularly by my team that I'm actually doing a pretty good job taking care of not only my body, but of my mind, too.  I never thought I'd embrace therapy and this taking-care-of-me crap, but it turns out, while I was resisting the concept of self-care, I was actually doing exactly that - taking care of my self.

Funny how things work sometimes......

Week 22: Harboring Emtions

Hmm.... Where do I hold my emotions.  I guess a better question is where don't I hold them?  My emotions like to get stuffed into my stomach, creating a mess in the digestion department.  They like to hide in my heart and chest, trying to convince me I'm having a heart attack (I'm smarter than those darn emotions, though!)  They like to hang out in my neck, and they hate when I see my chiropractor, because he crashes their party there.  Same with my low back.  My emotions pretty much hate my chiropractor, because he tries to crash any party they've planned in any part of my body.

It used to be easy to keep my emotions in check.  I just kept stuffing them down, eating my emotions instead of food.  That worked for a long time, too.  Except for one problem.  When I ate too many emotions, and too little food, well, the emotions snuck out of my pores and created a rather uncomfortable situation upon their escape.  That, and my body needed to eat more than emotions, despite what my brain thought.

Now I'm working through this terrifying process of actually expressing emotions instead of eating them.  I should say, appropriately expressing them.  It is not easy work, though my therapist has said that it does get a little easier over time.  Right now it's such a new skill, like, say, learning how to ride a skateboard, that I've got a lot of scrapes, bumps, and bruises all over.  But I'm trying.  And waiting for the easier part to arrive!