30 Day Recovery Challenge: Day 27

27. Do you believe in full recovery? Why or why not?

Yes, I do believe in full recovery. 
Two of my inspirations are both fully recovered. 
If they can do it, then it is possible. 

I know that it's not going to be easy.  I know that I will likely not be fully recovered for a few years, cause it's going to take a while to undo the 20+ years of damage.  While I've successfully been able to reach a healthy weight, and maintain that weight, it's the mental piece that is going to take a while.  Getting the food in has gotten much easier.  It's learning to like it, learning to have it as a part of my life, instead of defining my life.... eating is still a lot of work and a lot of thought.  When eating no longer takes up my entire thought process, is no longer a mental obsession.... then I'll be recovered.  

And yes, I will get there one day.  That I will.........

30 Day Recovery Challenge: Day 13

13.  What are some things - blogs, quotes, books, mantras, etc - that inspire you and keep you motivated?

Have you looked through this blog? 

You see all those quotes sprinkled generously through the posts? 

Yep. 

Those.

I wouldn't have posted them if they weren't inspiring to me.

And I don't mind posting a few of my favorites again.

(You can also check out this 

page full of em!)

As far as books go.... the one I still carry around with me is Life Without Ed (thanks to my Kindle app) as it was and still is a source of inspiration and a great reminder that recovery IS possible, and this work IS worth it.  I know I've spoken of Arielle's blog before, as it is another great resource - not only the videos, but also the links and other recovery (and life!) minded tidbits she writes about.

A third source of inspiration comes from music.  There is something about music that compliments my moods - both uplifting moods and more gloomy moods - that makes me feel settled.  Music speaks to me in so many ways..... there is something both comforting and inspiring about sinking into a favorite song....  Check out some of my favorites on the music page!

Act 26

I tried my best to coordinate the completion of my 26Acts with the end of National Eating Disorder Awareness week.  Which officially ended yesterday.

That's ok.  You can consider this post the "wish candle" if you'd like.  Because this act, while equally as powerful as the other 25, is the perfect way to cap a week of awareness.

I have an eating disorder.  I have been battling it privately and in denial for more than half my life.  It's the last two years that I sought help, and have embraced recovery.

One of the first resources my dietitian suggested was this book.  Impatient that I am, I ordered it for my Kindle so I'd have it instantly, and then ordered it so I'd also have the hard copy.  And reading it really, really, really helped me understand how deep I really was.  And how hard it would be for me to end my relationship with Ed.

Which I have, nearly severing the ties completely.

My hope is that the person who finds this book at the book store is able to find the comfort and support in it that I did.  I tabbed my favorite post, the one that broke through the resistance I worked so hard to build.

School psychologist, Mary Sherlach, was a huge support in the lives of many.  She took pride in helping students overcome problems and succeed.  At 56, she was a year away from retiring from 20 years as the school psychologist.  This was not the first time she put herself in the path of danger, as she headed toward where the shots were fired.  Mary also helped neighbors during the havoc Hurricane Sandy threw into the community.  When she wasn't helping others, she enjoyed theater, gardening, and spending time with her husband and two grown daughters.

I'm closing this chapter, these 26 Acts, with Mary's own words: "I.... am always ready to assist in problem solving, intervention and prevention."  The world is a better place because of Mary.  And my world is a better place because of these 26 Acts.

30 Day Recovery Challenge: Day 8

8. Do you have a role model in recovery, or someone who inspires you? Talk about that person.

For better or worse.... I really don't have a role model in recovery.  There are two people that do inspire me, though I've never met them, as they are fully recovered.  Especially at the start of my recovery journey, I relied on both Jenni Schaefer and Arielle Lee Bair to help me through the pain of the day-to-day experiences in working toward recovery.  I've written about them before.  Jenni's books have been with me since the first week of recovery, thanks to the Kindle app for my phone.  Arielle's videos have helped me through many hard days and nights, as I listened to her words of wisdom.

As far is inspiring me?  For the most part, that comes from my team.  Part inspiration, part motivation, without them..... I shudder to think!

Challenge 4, Part 3: Self Confidence

Can you tell this week's topics have been a bit of a struggle for me?  I guess though, that thing Arielle has said, about struggle being a good thing?  That would make this one good week for me!

Self confidence... I really don't know what to say.  I could pretty much duplicate the post on self-esteem, cause it all applies here, too.  What can I say, I had a pretty interesting childhood, ok?  My past shaped the person I am today.  Which, now that I think about it, is a person with some self confidence in one area: teaching.

Put me in front of a room full of children and I am in my element.  Even better, put me in a room full of children with technology (that is reliable and functional!) and I'll be able to make some magic happen.  Or, more likely, those kids will be making magic happen by the time they leave.  My secret?  Treat the kids like they are valuable.  Like they matter.  Like their ideas and questions are worth listening to.  In other words, I treat my students the way I wish I was treated.

Then things come to a screeching halt, cause for some reason, when it comes to doing exactly that, treating myself the way I treat my students?  I lose all confidence and it becomes impossible to do.  Can you hear the irony knocking?

I've been told this recovery process can make miracles happen.  Hopefully one of those miracles will find me receiving the gift of self confidence.  Problem is, I know the gift giver.  And she's not very fond of me.  Hopefully that changes, too.

Arielle's Word-of-the-Day: SINCERE

June Blog Challenge Day 5: SINCERE

Sincere.  When I hear this word, the word "sincerely" comes to mind.  It's a fancy way for grade school students to sign their letters (seems to be a big deal once they hit 3rd grade to use such a grown-up word!)

Sincere.  I hear this word and I think honest.  I think likeable.  I think integrity.  I think genuine.  I think that this is a loaded word!  It's a word that encompasses qualities that I hope to live day in and day out.

Sincere.  There are many people that come to mind when I hear this word, in particular, there are two recovery "gurus" that have resources I've been reading in an effort to learn more about this ed crud that continues to befuddle me.  They have been incredibly helpful to me on this journey, even though I only know them via a blog and two books.  Yet, their sincerity comes across so clearly in their writing, it's evident that they truly live the words they write.  I think that's a pretty tricky thing to do.

Sincere.  I sincerely hope that one day, I am fully recovered, and living the life I am meant to live.

Prompt: Does a particular person come to mind when you see this word?  Write about them if you wish. Or do you feel this is an important quality?  Maybe it’s something you’re trying to achieve.