Week 17: Goals

I have such mixed feelings about goals.  On the one hand, they're awesome!  I love being able to set a goal and make a list of steps to help accomplish it.  Crossing off each item on the list gives such a satisfying feeling, making reaching the goal all the more gratifying!

On the other hand...... sometimes my life is too chaotic for goals.  Lists overwhelm me.  I set goals and watch them fly by with little to no dent made in achieving them.  Sometimes my goals feel ridiculous, like getting out of bed, or getting into the shower. 

When you're dealing with an eating disorder, or depression, or anxiety, or any other invisible challenges, goals can feel impossibly painful, adding to the suffering.  Thankfully, they can also feel incredibly uplifting, bringing brightness through the clouds.

Right now, I'm working on eating.  Again.  Still.  Whatever.  I have been struggling a lot with getting in the appropriate types of foods, and getting enough of them at that.  It's not fun.  I feel like I've taken ten steps back in my recovery, even though my team would disagree.  I'm living the "one day at a time" mindset, or at least I'm trying to, in all areas of my life.

Sorry fellow readers, I'm kinda feeling stuck right now.  If I wrote this post in a month, it might be totally different.  In fact, I just might do that!

Week 17: Goals

Goals.  Ugh.  So not something like to think about for myself.  I always have goals for my students, and they usually reach them, too.  I guess it's a little easier to think about goals in chunks:

1.  Immediate goals - accomplished in the next two-three weeks
2.  Short term goals - accomplished in the next two-three months
3.  Long term goals - accomplished in the next 12-18 months
4.  Life time goals - accomplished sometime in this lifetime
5.  Ongoing goals - working on creating new habits one day at a time

With that in mind, I will attempt to proceed with this post.

1.  Immediate goals - get my house cleaned up, get orders for school completed and submitted, get a new vacuum cleaner, survive the next ten days without my team

2.  Short term goals - paint my kitchen cabinets, get my windshield replaced, complete my summer project for school, reduce therapy to twice a week, reduce nutritionist visits to every other week

3.  Long term goals - reduce nutritionist visits to monthly check ins, get my anxiety in check, learn to meal plan, learn to be kinder to myself

4.  Life time goals - get to the root cause of my anxiety, reduce therapy to once a week, become comfortable in my own skin, start a family

5.  Ongoing goals - stay better hydrated, maintain a healthy weight, build healthy eating habits, strive to always do my best at work, and in life...

That should keep me busy for a while, dontcha think?