365 Days of Giving Thanks - Year 2

Day 354 - Thursday 10/30/14 - Thankful for the little loves that remind me why I teach.... like two separate students asking for hugs on the way out at the end of the day.  You want a hug? You can happily have one.

Day 353 - Wednesday 10/29/14 - Relieved that the "big family dinner" tonight was nearly event free.  This is a very, very rare occasion, and is a very good thing.

Day 352 - Tuesday 10/28/18 - Happy that I finally, Finally realized how to NOT over-schedule my day, which magically allowed everything on the agenda to be completed!

Day 351 - Monday 10/27/18 - SO thankful the Pup is back to his usual, playful self!  I've been waiting for his return!

Day 350 - Sunday 10/26/14 - Thankful for the extra snuggly Pup that I have today, even if it's cause he's not feeling himself.  Mommy time makes things better, or so I've been told, so I'm hoping that's what we're having today.

Day 349 - Saturday 10/25/14 - Kinda happy to see while grading tests that maybe I am a good teacher after all.

Day 348 - Friday 10/24/14 - Had a delicious dinner from a favorite restaurant and ate it while holding my adorable little niece!

Three..... ish

Three year blogg-a-versary.  Sorta.  Cause I kinda skipped 2 months.  I mean, during those months I wrote blogs, I just never published them.  Maybe I will.  Maybe I'll pre-date them so they show up in the chronological order they were meant to be in.  Maybe not. 

But for now.....

I can't believe it's been three years!  Seriously!  I didn't think I'd have it in me to do this blog thing this long, but you know what?  It's been such a powerful experience, that I now have one for my teaching, too!  That one isn't as busy as this one, cause, well, teachers are busy people and don't always have time to write or read outside of the classroom, but you know.....

I love My Purple Dreams.  I love the name.  I love that I get to be myself here.  I love that my words inspire others (even if they don't inspire me.)  I love that when I look back on where I was, MPD shows me how much progress I've made, even if it doesn't always feel that way.

Three years.  Three long winded years.  Now...... who's up for three more?

No. More. Negative. News.

With so much happening in the world these days, the "news" (and I use that term lightly) has been extremely loaded.  So loaded, in fact, that I have not once regretted my decision to stop watching the news, and stop reading the papers.  It probably sounds like I live with my head buried in the sand, but believe me, I hear news I need to hear, and even more frequently, I hear news I never wanted to hear.

For example, why do I need to be bogged down by so many political commercials right now?  The news reporters talk about it enough, so why ruin the few TV shows that I watch by filling the commercials with political propaganda?

Moreso than that, why, why, WHY does the media need to sensationalize all the negative news out there?  Do they think it helps?  From what I've read recently (and in light of yet another deadly school shooting this week) there's been a total of 87 school shootings since Newton, Connecticut.  How scary is that?!?  I have a bit of advice for those looking for your 15 minutes of fame - DON'T SHOOT.  There are other ways to get your moment on the camera, despite what the media makes it look like.  The media seems to show that the only way to become news is to do something extremely dangerous, often potentially endangering others' lives.

I don't buy it.

Try doing something nice, instead.  I mean, I much prefer to spend my time that used to be spent watching the news or reading the paper reading a book, looking things up online (lately my time has been committed to KickStarter and Pinterest,) playing games, or doing the much neglected things around my house that I've needed to do.  Putting positive, or at least neutral energy out there feels a lot better to me than adding any more negativity.....

And I beg, beg, BEG of you news people, can we PLEASE stop focusing on the negative, and find some time for the Smile Stories?  Might make the world feel a little brighter, and a little less scary.

Rant over.

365 Days of Giving Thanks - Year 2

Day 347 - Thursday 10/23/14 - I am thankful for my therapist.  Always.

Day 346 - Wednesday 10/22/14 - Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm kinda glad I can identify my emotions now, instead of just heap them all into the "melancholy" category.  Today's feeling?  Disgust.

Day 345 - Tuesday 10/21/14 - The Pup is back to normal, thankfully, and the whole ordeal can be put behind us now.

Day 344 - Monday 10/20/14 - SO happy the Pup is home after an overnight visit with the emergency vet!

Day 343 - Sunday 10/19/14 - Thankful for the bonus time with my niece today.  She slept in my arms for over an hour and it was heaven!

Day 342 - Saturday 10/18/14 - Loved being a part of such a positive educational movement!  Had a blast with 100+ colleagues today!

Day 341 - Friday 10/17/14 - Thankful the week is over.  It was a painfully, stressfully long one.

All About WHAT Bass?

So there's the song that's been stuck in my head for a while.  Not the greatest of earworms, but not the worst.  A part of me really likes the song, as there is a great message in it.  Yet.... another part of me doesn't like it.  There's something just not right about it.

The first time I heard it on the radio, I skipped over it, only to come back to it when nothing good was on the other stations.  There was (and is) something catchy about the tune.  The line that caught me was this:

"Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top."

I don't know about you, but that is a reminder I need to hear every hour on the hour, and on the quarter hour when I'm in a bad place.  Another less powerful, but equally powerful (I know, I'm oxymoronic today) line says "my mamma she told me don't worry about your size."  Another truth.  Another thing I need to be reminded of.  All good so far, right?

And yet...... maybe you need to watch the video (though it may be a little offensive in places?  Or not?  I like the throw back to the 50's-ish-era.) and see what you think.  There's just something about the fact that "boys like a little more booty to hold at night," and "I ain't no size two but I can shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do, Cause I got that boom boom in that all the boys chase, all the right junk in all the right places."

I don't know about you, but something just doesn't sit well with me there.  Does that mean I turn the song off when I hear it on the radio?  Nope.  I even sing along to this earworm.  Doesn't mean I love all of it, though.  Guess that's the black and white thinking my therapist always reminds me of - this song is a grey are for me.

ETA - Just found this article that outlines my exact dilemma about this song..... interesting read.....

365 Days of Giving Thanks - Year 2

Day 340 - Thursday 10/16/14 - Terrified yet beyond grateful that one other on this Earth now knows holds the words that have tortured me for decades.

Day 339 - Wednesday 10/15/14 - Grateful to come home to the Pup, who is always happy to see me, no matter what.

Day 338 - Tuesday 10/14/14 - Appreciate the (sort of) apology I got in a meeting today for a breakdown in communication on the admin's part.  It's nice to hear administrators apologize for their mistakes.  Nice to see that they are indeed human.

Day 337 - Monday 10/13/14 - Relieved that the parent meeting that kicked off my day went a lot smoother than I anticipated.

Day 336 - Sunday 10/12/14 - First. Day. Home.  In ages.  LOVED being able to spend the day in my pajamas, finally!

Day 335 - Saturday 10/11/14 - Glad to have time with my dietitian today.  The way my stomach, and my eating, have been, I needed her input and support.

Day 334 - Friday 10/10/14 - So happy to be able to provide some pretty awesome, outside the norm learning experiences.

Running

I run a lot even though I don't use my feet.
I realize that now.
I run when things are uncomfortable.
I run from change.
I run out of fear.
I run from sadness.
I run from anger.
I run from hurt and pain and discomfort.

And I run from my head.
My own thoughts.
And that's the hardest running of all.

Therapy.
In my mind, major disaster session,
though my therapist said all was fine.
The time to talk will come when the words are ready.
No time limits.
No pressure.

Except all of this pressure from me.

I tried to talk I really did try I came close too.
At one point I had wandered off into silence for a bit.
She asked if we were done for the day.
I couldn't answer in words,
but I did un-bury my face and uncurl myself from ball on the chair that I had become.

Then the tears came.
Lots of them.
So uncomfortable.
I tried.
The words were on my tongue but they couldn't escape.
It just wasn't happening, no matter how much I wanted to speak them.
I told Her I wish she had was a mind reader.
She laughed. Not that easy she said.

She's right.

Maybe next time.

I can't hold this secret for much longer.

Maybe next time........
Maybe next time.........

Impressive? Or not?

Image courtesy of Sketches in Stillness.

So timely.  So, so, so timely.  The best part of the weather turning colder is that I get to bury my body in bulky sweaters that make me feel super cozy.  Even more, they make me feel like I can finally breathe again, after wearing a spring and summer wardrobe that makes me feel like I have to suck in my stomach.  Which I can't do.  Cause it's not that simple for me.  The health issues in my belly do make me look much more rotund than I actually am.  My belly embarrasses me regularly, even though there's really nothing I can do about it.

This quote up here?  If the world was blind, who would I impress?  I love it.  I wish the whole world read it.  Cause if we didn't have a society that is so judged by how you look, I think there would be a lot more peace in the world, and a lot less scrutiny.  Scrutiny can lead to scary stuff, and we don't need anything else to be scared of.