Outside In - Take 2

Had to post this comic I just found.  

SO what goes through my head every single time I am out in public.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Good to know I'm not alone?

From the Outside In

Have you ever gone window shopping?  I find it to be especially fun during the holiday season, when all the displays are lit up and full of magic and sparkle.  Now, with the internet, it's even easier to "window" shop from anywhere in the world - including, well, including places that one wouldn't generally think of as a place to shop.

Have you ever thought about window shopping as an "inside" job?  Let me explain.  I've always been a people watcher.  Always.  I'm intrigued by how people interact in the world, especially since that's an area of struggle for me (social interaction, that is.)  Even more, though, is the fact that I am constantly "window shopping" styles and such.

See, I'm not a fan of myself.  Or, at this point, it'd be more honest to say that I'm not a fan of my body and how it looks.  At all.  Which is actually my motive for people watching.  I figure that if I observe enough people out in the world, maybe I'll find some style or something that I do like, and that I think I could pull off.

Outside.  I know, you can't judge a book by it's cover.  You can't judge a person by their clothing.  I get it. 

Except.  In my mind, other people always seem to be able to "pull it off" so much better than I imagine I'd be able to.  I mean, I love the idea of boots and skinny pants.  I've seen so many people who can totally rock that look.  I just don't believe I could make it work.  At least, on the inside, I've convinced myself that I can't pull it off.  Nor can I pull off tunics, or ballet flats, or a plethora of other bits of clothing and style that I find to be fantastic on others, yet, imagine they'd be hideous on me. 

And if I'm going to be completely honest, when it comes down to it, I just plain feel like an outsider in my own skin.  It's as if the person I am on the inside isn't worthy of looking nice on the outside.

Yes.  I do understand that isn't true.  Or at least my therapist continues to remind me that isn't true.  I guess the more accurate statement would be that I don't like my outside, and I'm just starting to like my inside. 

So now it's time for a different kind of window shopping.  This time, I'm gonna have to try to shop my insides in an effort to embrace my outsides.......

Gee whiz, do I love challenges like this!! {ugh}

Impressive? Or not?

Image courtesy of Sketches in Stillness.

So timely.  So, so, so timely.  The best part of the weather turning colder is that I get to bury my body in bulky sweaters that make me feel super cozy.  Even more, they make me feel like I can finally breathe again, after wearing a spring and summer wardrobe that makes me feel like I have to suck in my stomach.  Which I can't do.  Cause it's not that simple for me.  The health issues in my belly do make me look much more rotund than I actually am.  My belly embarrasses me regularly, even though there's really nothing I can do about it.

This quote up here?  If the world was blind, who would I impress?  I love it.  I wish the whole world read it.  Cause if we didn't have a society that is so judged by how you look, I think there would be a lot more peace in the world, and a lot less scrutiny.  Scrutiny can lead to scary stuff, and we don't need anything else to be scared of.