On the plus side, mentally, this bug didn't beat me. Not one bit. I was surprisingly upbeat and cheery despite the fact that I now know how many tiles are in my bathroom floor. Except.....
My ex-bff is trying really hard to work his way back into my life. We haven't spoken in a while, which has been really nice. But when this bug hit me, he was right there next to me, offering comfort and companionship. And I've been buying it. Sort of. I've been (sort of) using this as an excuse to not eat. By sort of, I mean that for 48 hours I didn't eat. I was too sick. The next 48 hours I really couldn't eat. Believe me, I tried, but my stomach rejected everything but crackers and bananas.
It's been day one of actual eating, and I'm on a very bland diet..... and he is loving it. I looked in the mirror this morning and have visibly lost weight over the last 5 days. It made me smile, looking in the mirror and seeing the smaller body staring back at me. Even though I know it's so not a good thing..... being happy about losing weight from being sick....
I'm giving myself the week. That's it. I've been exhausted and weak, and in no mood to argue with him. I know that this is a blip in the path. I know that while I may be enjoying his visit at the moment.... I know he's the worst influence on me, and he views my health completely differently than my team and I do. A week. Then it's back to the meal plan.
At least that's my plan.
I don't know how you feel about tough love, but I gotta say, this post scares me (for you). You are weak, as you say, so you need to fortify yourself and love yourself and, I'm sorry to say, that means eating. You deserve to not go backward - you have come so far.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, even if you do slip, I know you can keep moving yourself forward again. You are aware of the drive and I hope you remember your true bff - the beautiful soul who needs a nourished body.
I hope that doesn't sound preachy - I just want you to be well (otherwise, how can you inspire me? ).
Thanks for the tough love.... not sounding preachy at all, I get where you're coming from and hear what you're saying. Today is the last day of his visit, as tomorrow is a new week, and therefore a new beginning!
ReplyDelete(That, and fresh baked goods from the farmer's market make for delicious Sunday breakfast that he hates!)
xoxo
If you let anyone stay for a week they start to feel comfortable. I highly suggest a couple good meals from a real friend.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how that short week has turned into a longer visit than planned. I don't know who got more comfortable, me, or him.
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