Saying Yes When You Really Mean No

Anyone do this?  C'mon, be honest.

I know I do.  Way more than I care to admit.

Like a lot of things in my world, I'm learning that the first step to making changes is noticing when you "do" the "behavior."

It was about 4:00 in the morning when I woke up from a nightmare.  This time, I was in my therapist's office and she was telling me that she was no longer going to be able to see me at my scheduled time, (which is a big deal considering I have to have after school appointments.)  Last time this happened, I completely freaked out, called my therapist and left a message just because I needed wanted reassurance.  It resulted in quite the conversation at my next session.  This time, I recognized my panic, and while the nightmare hung on for several hours, I knew that it wasn't true, and therefore, didn't call my therapist for reassurance.  I recognized the behavior.

School has been a hotbed of saying one thing, but meaning another.  I used to say yes to every request from my colleagues, even if it meant shorting myself.  Honestly, I didn't even realize I was doing it until my therapist pointed it out.  Years and years of putting others first, without even realizing it.

Most recently, though, a friend asked me to take care of his cat while he was away.  Of course, I said yes.  And I instantly regretted it.  My schedule for the next two weeks is insanely packed, and though it only takes about 10 minutes to feed the little guy, it's 10 minutes more than I care to spend.  And really, I always feel guilty when I don't spend extra time playing with the fur ball (who is absolutely adorable, by the way) and brushing out his long coat.  I feel bad rushing in, cleaning the litter, refreshing the water, and feeding him dinner before rushing right out.

But I said yes.  And I always keep my word.

At least, though, I recognized that the "no" got overshadowed by the "yes" as soon as I said it.  Too late to take it back, but maybe next time, the "no" will beat out the "yes" response.......

Day 13: A Public Apology

Dear World,

I want to apologize for my behavior when it comes to saying thank you.  More specifically, when it comes to writing thank you notes.

I suck at them.  I suck at them because I am so overwhelmed with gratitude upon receiving any gifts, that I am truly at a loss of words to appropriately express my appreciation for said gift - whatever it may be.  I push myself to attempt to write individual thank you notes to each person, and end up a mess of frustrating tears because it doesn't feel my words are able to convey my true appreciation.

It may sound like a lame excuse, but this began way back when I was a teen, and has been a life-long struggle.  I owe thank you notes for graduation presents, for housewarming gifts, and for gifts from students long ago received and still very much valued and appreciated.  Know that oftentimes, gifts sit unused for months, with the promise that I'll enjoy the gift once I've sent a thank you note.  And they sit, mocking me for months, until I finally crumble.

So if you've given me anything over the years, and you didn't get a formal thank you note, please know that I do so very, very much thank you for the gifts and the thoughts, and while I might never find the words to express my gratitude appropriately, my thanks is truly heartfelt.

Respectfully,
Violet

Day 13 Prompt: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.