You probably didn't realize there was a "wrong" butter to buy.
Well, when you're recovering from an eating disorder, there is. Or, at least for me there is.
For the last as-long-as-I-can-remember years, I've always, always, always bought sticks of butter. Preferably the quarter sticks. They're easier to measure, I mean, cut.
Last week, I was in such a rush as I flew through the grocery store, I grabbed the butter my parents usually buy. With only two ingredients, I was fine with that (the fewer ingredients the better, as always) I grabbed the tub of butter of the shelf and headed to the check out. For once, I only had the items in my basket that I specifically walked in to get.
But I survived.
And I'm actually using the butter-in-a-tub. It tastes the same, it still works, and it actually spreads easier right out of the fridge. The only problem is that it's not nearly as easy to measure. To track how much I used. To count the exact calories needed. I mean, sure, I know how much I'm eating, I'm just not able to be as precise as I'd like. As precise as I'm used to being.
Positive growth? Step forward in recovery? Maybe. Rather fear-inducing? Yup.