Sunday, November 30, 2014


Seasons change, right?  We all accept that without question (though often with complaint!)

Our tastes change.  We crave cheese sandwiches for a week and then don't eat them again for months.  Maybe it's caeser salad that you can't get enough of, and then you can't get far enough away from. 

Our style may change - from casual to classic, from preppy to poised, from grunge to grand, from school-girl to sophisticated.

Our addresses change, or phone numbers change, our budgets change, we paint the walls new colors, we buy new coats, we plant different flowers, we vacation in different locations.......

Change is normal.  We accept that whether we like it or not.

Or, I think I've accepted change, even though I don't like it.

But to accept something that hasn't changed, and won't change?  Something that's been there my whole life, though I didn't realize it until just recently? 

That is hard to accept.  It's almost harder to accept than change, this "non-change" realization is.

To finally unearth what has been buried deeper than anything, to finally let it bob to the surface, to finally put words to a secret you didn't even know you were carrying..... and to accept it all?

If someone were to tell me that for the rest of my life, I'd have to live with bright blue skin, I think that would be an easier thing to accept.

Except that this is me.
I think I've always known, too.
I just refused to accept it.

Now it's time.

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