|Courtesy of Sketches in Stillness|
Isn't this a good question? Who was I before the world decided who I should be?
Who was I before I decided to let society tell me who I should be?
I have absolutely no idea.
As someone who became a social chameleon by age four, I don't know that I ever really knew who I was, or what I wanted. I remember one moment, being very upset at preschool because I didn't get to sit on the teacher's lap for my birthday (as was tradition.) I also remember being told that it is no big deal, you'll sit on her lap another time.
In other words, what I wanted, what I thought should have happened because of the social expectations in the class, didn't happen, and I was told that there was no reason to be upset.
Did I know the vocabulary then? Nope. Did I realize at that moment what was happening? Nope. Do I realize now how quickly I learned to surrender my ideas, desires, wishes, even needs, to those who were "in charge" of caring for me? Nope.
But now I do.
And as an adult, I can change.