Monday, December 22, 2014


Have you ever known something, but not really *known* it?
Clarification: Have you know that something was truth, but been unable to see it as such?

That's where I was, and still sort of am.
I mean, I know the truth is my truth, and I am finally fine with that.
It's everything else that I'm struggling with.

Example: I think anything that is unknown is scary.
Scary, in my mind, is equated to bad.
So when there are new an unknown feelings and emotions popping up,
of course I think that all those feelings are uncomfortable and want them to go away.

Except.  A question my therapist posed made me stop and ponder.
Just because it's a new, unknown feeling, does it have to be bad?
Unknown feeling + My mind = Yes
Unknown feeling + Reality = No

Except.  In my mind, every feeling and emotion is bad until proven otherwise.

Example: Imagine that you've spent your whole life blind.
Now imagine that you've been granted surgery that gives you sight
for the first time in your life.
The world is going to be so new, full of surprises and overwhelming experiences
that are exciting, even if they're a little scary.
That's what I'm talking about.

It's as if my whole world changed in an instant.  It opened up.
There are so many new things to look at and explore,
and it is entirely overwhelming to me.
I'll let you in on a secret.  
I am afraid to admit that I'm a little excited about these new feelings, 
about this new found sight, so to speak.

I mean, 
new + unknown + feelings = scary + bad
at least that's been the past equation.

new + unknown + feelings = opportunity + fear + excitement

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So? What do you think?