I rarely get homework from my therapist. I sometimes wish she'd give me homework more often. At least until I actually get homework. You know how that goes - you wish for something, then when you get it, you regret wishing for it in the first place? Yep. I'm there.
We've been dancing around the topic of self-image. Mine is sucks. Like, seriously sucks. I have such a twisted perception of myself - both in how I look and in who I am. I see nothing but flaws and failures.
Well, supposedly I am the only person that sees me this way. My therapist *promised* me that no one else sees me the way I see me. She also made a point of reminding me that she's never lied to me in the past. She's always honest. She is right about that.
Which means that I have two choices:
I can trust her, taking her word that no one else sees me the way I do.
I can actually ask others what they see in me.
Because I rarely follow the rules, I chose both.
I DO trust my therapist, more than anyone else on this planet. And she has never lied to me. Ever. Everything she tells me is honest, sometimes brutally honest, but always spoken with care. Yet, I need a little help in trying to see me from the kinder eye of others.
So I've selected a select few, whom I trust more than most (which says a lot, since I trust few!) to ask the question "what do you see when you see me?" My request was specific, I only want facts (thank you DBT!) as it is more helpful to work with facts than opinions (also known sometimes as judgements in the DBT world.)
Now....... I wait...... and hold on to the fact that I trust my therapist..... I trust my therapist..... I trust my therapist......