Sunday, May 5, 2013

At last!

I had a pretty cool experience yesterday.  Or, more likely the experience of yesterday, months and months in the making, did not go unnoticed.  That's a more accurate description.

You might remember that a little over a year ago, I was in complete agony over my dietitian's maternity leave.  Actually, agony doesn't quite describe it.  More like, an unbearably intolerably excruciating inner ache.  Not gonna revisit that, but you can read more if you want.

Anyway.  Back to yesterday.  As I was heading for my visit with my dietitian, it hit me that it was three weeks since I last saw her.  Three weeks.  Three, rather chaotic, exhausting, long, weeks.  Three trying, frustrating, agonizing weeks.  But those three weeks were missing one thing.

In the past, when a week went by without a visit with my dietitian, I felt a desperate sense of longing, an urgency of sorts.  I could not go without my weekly visit, my weekly hug.  When we moved into visits every other week, that same longing was there, elevated at first, and while it did subside, it never fully went away.

Until recently.

Three weeks.  A few months ago, just the idea of going three weeks between appointments would have brought about crippling anxiety.  So you'd think that upon seeing my dietitian yesterday, for the first time in three weeks, I'd have that old sense of desperation and longing hanging around my neck.

Not the case.  Yes, I am just as surprised as you are.  There was no agonizing longing, no desperate sense of need.  There was just a sense of contentment in seeing my dietitian for the first time in three, long and crazy weeks.

I believe that I've finally arrived at what the psychology world calls "secure attachment."  This type of attachment is what I feel to be the healthiest, and yet, it's one I've experienced the least.  I have to admit, I was very excited to see my dietitian yesterday, and equally excited to share with her the news - that I now finally know that she's going to always be there for me, whether it's been days, weeks, or months between our visits.

Feels pretty darn good, if you ask me.


  1. That is wonderful! I am so happy for you, I know you have struggled long and hard to reach this point! :)

    1. Thanks Tamara! It has definitely been a long struggle.... but worth it!

  2. This is amazingly wonderful! I read this post with a giant smile on my face - it is all really good news!

    Secure attachment is such a wonderful place to be, and I'm glad you're reached that place.

    Continue being proud of how hard you've worked and how far you've come!! I am!

    1. Thanks Amanda! Glad to share smiles. I have to admit that I left my dietitian's office smiling, myself. :)

  3. Congratulations - it's amazing how something so big can just sneak up on you, eh? It makes me realize that little steps only feel little until you look back at how much ground you've covered with them :)

    1. "Little steps only feel little until you look back at how much ground you've covered with them." LOVE this! Might have to turn it into a quote-image soon!


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