A year ago, I was recovering from major surgery. As a matter of fact, exactly one year ago, Mother's Day, I was bed-ridden with an infection, deciding whether or not it warranted a trip to the ER or not. Needless to say, a year ago, I was not in a good place. Physically and mentally.
Today was a bit of an eye-opener. I had my regular check-in with my doctor, and went in quite chipper, actually! Things may not be great but they are pretty darn ok these days. School is awesome. I love coming home to The Pup every day. I might not be eating the most balanced of meals, but I'm maintaining.
At least I thought I was.
Turns out I've lost a bit of weight since my last visit two months ago. Enough to heighten my the concern of my doctor. Enough to get her on the phone with my dietitian. In the middle of my check-in. Rather unexpectedly. Doctor says that she's technically not concerned right now. Says that the number on the scale isn't as important as what comes back from my labs. That's the numbers that matter more.
The whole visit threw me for a loop. It felt like a nose dive, actually. A fast, spiraling out of control nose dive. I'd like to say that the nose dive is over, landing safely in the security of my therapist's office immediately following my doctor visit. I'd like to say that in crashing into the comfort of her sofa, the padded landing straightened out the chaotic loop. Ended the nose dive on impact.
Truth is, while it didn't end the tailspin, talking with my therapist helped bring me back to reality. And while I am definitely in the "three steps back" phase at the moment, I'm gonna do my best to not let it send me significantly backward. Which isn't going to be easy.
But who said life was gonna be easy?