Saturday Smiles

Thank you Shirt Woot!

365 Days of Giving Thanks

Day 296 - Thursday 9/12/13 - Loved seeing a double rainbow tonight!  What a nice treat to end an otherwise not-so-nice day.

Day 295 - Wednesday 9/11/13 - Grateful that my evening plans came through and a delicious dinner with good company was had at a fun food truck rally!

Day 294 - Tuesday 9/10/13 - Very thankful that tonight's parent night went so smoothly.

Day 293 - Monday 9/9/13 - Thankful that I have the Pup to snuggle with after a long day.

Day 292 - Sunday 9/8/13 - Happy to have found another Violet-friendly bakery - this one only a few miles from home!

Day 291 - Saturday 9/7/13 - SO thrilled to finally see my nutritionist!  It was only three weeks, but it felt like forever......

Day 290 - Friday 9/6/13 - Thankful that the first week of school went so smoothly!

19 years ago

This week is Suicide Prevention Awareness Week.

19 years ago, I planned my own death.

Had the plans worked out, it would have actually been 19 years ago today that I took my own life.

Alas, my carefully constructed, well-laid plans were foiled.


When I saw this postcard on PostSecret's site this week, I had to share it.  Because it is so very, very true, not only for me, but for many others, as made clear by the response it's gotten.

Remember a while ago when everyone was all about the "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" and such?  Did you know that suicide intimately impacts six people, which, when you think about it, means everyone is six people away from knowing someone who has lost their life to suicide.....

Scary.  Sad.  And preventable.

Among many organizations supporting and promoting prevention awareness, DoSomething has compiled a list of eye-opening facts about suicide.

Always remember, you are who you are, no one can replace you, and the world needs you, no matter what the darkness in your mind tells you.

World Suicide Prevention Day

Today marks World Suicide Prevention Day.  This whole week, actually, is suicide awareness week and there are tons of blogs and sites doing all sorts of things to raise awareness of and funds to prevent suicide.

One such blog is Post Secret, which is a favorite of mine.  They are working with IMAlive to raise money to provide 24/7 crisis support to anyone in need.

Last year, I posted some statistics and resources about suicide.  The stats are still mind boggling. 

<--- This one, in particular, crushes me to think about.  There is still so much of a stigma around mental health, that people are willing to risk everything to keep their mental issues invisible, which often ends in abysmal results.

Speak up.  Be heard.  You do matter.  You can make a difference.

It may be over 30 years, but I still feel the effects of the death of my uncle, whom I never met, as even all these years later, his suicide still haunts my mother and family......  The suicide of one person ripples well into the world....

365 Days of Giving Thanks

Day 289 - Thursday 9/5/13 - Thankful for the delicious treat I gifted myself - my first caramel apple of the season!

Day 288 - Wednesday 9/4/13 - Thankful for a great evening with my BFF - with our busy schedules, it was really nice to be able to sit and catch up with no time restraints.

Day 287 - Tuesday 9/3/13 - Grateful that the first day was relatively uneventful.

Day 286 - Monday 9/2/13 - LOVED being able to spend the entire day with the Pup. Nice break before a hectic week!

Day 285 - Sunday 9/1/13 - Appreciate the calmness in which my DBT handled my disheveled-ness today.

Day 284 - Saturday 8/31/13 - Thankful that I kept my massage.  After all the physical labor happening in the classroom this week, it was a much needed treat.

Day 283 - Friday 8/30/13 - Grateful to have finished my room!  Bring on the kids!

Four Leaf Clovers

As a kid, I remember spending what felt like hours searching for the elusive four leaf clover.  On more than one occasion, I got lucky, and found one!  It was always exhilarating, after crawling around in the grass long enough to have green-stained knees, coming up with one of those little gems like you were the champion of the world.

Four leaf clovers.

Technically, a mutation of the normal, more typical, three leaf clover.  The regular one.  The way most clovers are made.

We scour the ground in search of the odd one out.  The unique.  The different.  The lucky.  Finding a three leaf clover is ordinary.  Everyone is a three leaf clover.  The four leaf clover.  That's different.  That's lucky.

Even though, technically, it's mutated.  It's deformed.  It's grossly different than the rest.

I've been thinking about this for a while.  How it connects to my body.  To my eating disorder.  To recovery.

I want that four leaf clover.  It's different.

Yet.

I hate this body in which I reside for that same reason.

Cause it's different.

I want to be normal.  I want to be like that three leaf clover.  Fitting in with everyone else.  One of the crowd.

Or do I?

If everyone is in search of that one, so-called lucky, four leaf clover...... maybe it's time to start rethinking this.  Maybe being different is like being that four leaf clover...... maybe it means some one will actually pick me, and find me to be their lucky charm.....

Maybe I need to pick me first......