Too Cool? Too Weird?

I saw this quote the other day and SO me.

Maybe a week ago, I would have glanced at it, thought, "boy does that sound like me," and moved on.

This week, though?  No such luck.

The other day I was asked a question that I really did not want to answer.  So I gave a generic but true response, and tried (successfully) to switch subjects.

The question was something along the lines of "why don't you think you would be able to make more friends?"

And this, my friends, is the answer.  This quote sums it all up.

I don't know if it would be so bad if I weren't one of those "quirky" people who sorta-maybe-kinda would like to be friends with the "cool" crew.  It wouldn't be as bad if the so-called "cool" people at work weren't so UGH to me.  They seek me out for support, and then mock me behind my back.  That is not cool.

Since I learned that, though, I no longer aim to be friends with any of them.  I remain ever the professional, and give them little to no thought.

Thing is.  The.  Thing.  Is.
I'm heading into a whole new group of colleagues.  And the ones I've met so far?  They are awesome, and so the "cool" crew that I really want to befriend.  I think they'd be nice people to hang out with.

But I'm.  Too.  Quirky.  AndI'mAfraidTheyWon'tLikeMeWhenTheyGetToKnowMe.

Right now they really like me.  They're really looking forward to me working with them.  And I'm SUPER excited to be working with them.  But again....
I'mAfraidTheyWon'tLikeMeWhenTheyGetToKnowMe.

I know change is scary.
I know change is good.
But is it possible to change from the too weird for cool or too cool for weird?
Is it possible to be the "quirky" me that I am, and have people like me anyway?

Challenge 6, Part 4: The Self

This quote is really fitting for ME right now.  I recently had a conversation revolving around how sensitive I am to feedback and criticism.  Don't get me wrong, as an educator I'm always open to any feedback or observations classroom visitors may have - on my classroom, on my teaching - whatever.  That is feedback and criticism I like.  What I don't like is when someone points out something to me in *that* tone of voice.  The one that is dripping with judgement.  The one that instantly shuts me down.  The one that dulls my sparkle.

A comment like that need be made only once, and I shut down the behavior that brought it about (even if it was a helpful behavior for me) - say, twirling a piece of hair whilst sitting in a lecture.  I had the person next to me (a fellow teacher) actually take my hand and pull it away when doing so.... said that was "kid" behavior.  I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.  Truly, I hadn't even known I was doing it.  Having ADHD, I have a lot of coping strategies that help me focus better when I am stuck in a lecture of sorts, and hair twirling is one of them.

Anyway, what my recent conversation was about how I let ONE person dictate what I needed to do.  A person that wasn't my "superior" (though she is a senior teacher) and has no power over me.  I let her dull my sparkle.  What I learned from this recent conversation is that I don't have to stop doing what I'm doing and being who I am because one person (or even a few people) don't like what I'm doing, as long as it isn't impacting them (like, say I chose to poke the person next to me instead of twirl my hair... then they'd have the right to complain!)  I am ME.  There is only one ME.  With ME comes all my quirks.... It's those quirks that sparkle the brightest....