Monday, May 18, 2015

At Any Cost

I've been *trying* to live a healthier life for 68 days.  I know that because I've numbered every day in my food log since starting this new commitment to myself. 
Since making this commitment....

  • I've eaten more produce in the past 68 days than in the past 68 months.
  • I've prepared more meals at home than ever before.
  • I've eaten less processed foods.  (My dietitian may be rolling her eyes at this, but it is true!)
  • I've run the dishwasher with more than just bowls and spoons.
  • I've run the dishwasher more frequently.
  • I've cut out some favorite foods because they make my body hurt.
  • I've cheated on the foods that I'm supposed to avoid.
  • I've paid the price for cheating, higher prices than ever before.
  • I've begun to listen to my body.  
  • I've begun treating my body with a little less hostility.
I've tried.
Oh, how I've tried.

I'm not where I wish to be.  Yet.  But I keep trying.
One day at a time, I will uncover the life that belongs to me,
that was lost amid the chaos of growing up, of an eating disorder,
of shattered self-esteem, and of fear-driven living.
And I will try to live my own life.
A healthy and peaceful one, at that.

1 comment:

  1. You are doing so well my dear ^-^
    I know I don't know you but reading this makes me feel so proud of you :)
    I have every faith in you no matter how rough it feels sometimes.
    Big hugs
    Take care

    Mandy xx


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