Perception. Perspective. Whatever you want to call it, sometimes mine is off.
Good news is that at least I'm now starting to recognize when it's presenting an inaccurate picture! If only that could happen a bit more frequently....
Here's an example. (Disclaimer: I am not a Trekkie, though I did enjoy the two most recent films.) My therapist and I were talking about emotions and how some people are better able to manage theirs, while others (like me) are managed BY their emotions. She suggested I watch Star Trek (yeah, she's that awesome, you can be jealous) and pay close attention to Kirk and Spock.
So I did.
And as my therapist and I reflected on the movie, I realized that I am such a Kirk - my emotions are ever-present, driving much of my day. However, Spock, on the other hand, is pretty darn emotionless, living among an acute sense of logic. (Reminds me of Sheldon!)
I want to be Spock.
Reality is, a balance of both Kirk's emotions and Spock's lack of emotions would be more appropriate to strive for, but, with my extreme "Kirk-like" emotion, even if I shoot for Spock's opposite extreme, I'd likely end up in the middle.
Here's another one. Earlier this week as I was walking out of my house, I gave my usual cursory glance to make sure everything was set. This time, though, I noticed that while I got rid of loads and loads of excessive "stuff" over the past two years, I still have more to get rid of. In my mind, I see myself as a minimalist. My house says otherwise, though. No, I'm not by any means a hoarder. I can't stand the pileup of superfluous stuff. I'm more of a pack rat. Kinda comes with the teaching territory, you never know when that really cool plastic take out container might come in handy.
Years into therapy, I can now see that my perception of myself and my world is very much twisted and, well, pretty messed up. Knowing this, though, is going to help me change the prescription of my lenses, so to speak, and help me see reality as it is, not as I wish it to be. Thank g-d there's still years of therapy to come......!