Today was one of those days.
From the moment I woke up, I spent my time trying to catch my breath. I spent every second trying to convince myself to participate in the world today. My to-do list sat, waiting for the purple pen to check things off.
It's a weird kind of paralysis that takes over when I reach the tipping point where I spent today. Where the overwhelm of life literally renders me useless. Where even breathing is a challenge.
The thing about today's bad day is that it was brought about because of a potentially amazing opportunity. Bad day? Amazing opportunity? I know. Believe me, I know. It makes no sense. I get that. Logically, this is all to familiar to me. A great opportunity arises, or some other good news crosses my path, and instead of logical emotions, like being excited, or happy, I freak out. Or, more accurately I get so excited, and conflictingly, so scared, that I end up paralyzed.
Which leads me to here.
The good news is that I did manage to get myself to functioning and went to see the peanut this evening. The bad news is that as soon as I left, paralysis set in again.
I know that being overwhelmed doesn't need to be a bad thing. It can be energizing and motivating and exciting. I just need some help convincing my nervous system, or whatever part of me it is that controls the paralysis and it's buddy overwhelm, that it doesn't need to be bad. Anyone up for it?