Saturday, July 18, 2015

Just Keep Swimming....

Today was another scorcher.  Pair the high temps with intermittent rain, and mother nature was left alone much of the day, as was the pool.

It's been four weeks and five days since I began my commitment to fitness.   During that time, I've averaged about 45 minutes a day of intentional walking.  Intentional.  That's the big shift.  I am actually planning time in my day for my walk.  I'm scheduling it in based on the plans for the day, to make sure it happens.  I've made a walk happen 30 out of 33 days.  And that's pretty good, to me. 

Like Dory said, "just keep swimming" or in my case, just keep walking.  I don't love walking every day.  There have been more than a few days where I want to skip the scheduled walk.  Thankfully, once I start out on my walk, I usually enjoy it.  It's work, but it's fairly pleasant work.  And I know it's good for me.

Just keep walking..... that's what I did today.  I was gonna make it a day off - too hot to walk outside, too hot to even walk in the pool.  Instead, I got creative.  I went to the mall.  A place I generally do not enjoy.  I went though, knowing the intention to walk daily is one I'm trying to hold myself to.  I figured I'd get some good people watching in, too.

And I did.  For about 45 minutes, all was
good.  Until I started noticing people more closely.  I realized that what I see as "nicely dressed" is what most people wear every day.  Ugh.  Strike one.  I also realized that ladies shorts are have grown shorter and shorter over the last few years.  It made my stomach hurt watching so many females - all ages, mind you - walking around and tugging their shorts down to cover their cheeks.  Strike two.

Once I noticed that, I started noticing the mannequins in the windows.  Where all the female mannequins are barely dressed and standing on tiptoes, looking uncomfortable, as opposed to the male ones, flat footed and sporting nice outfits, yet looking comfortable.  Strike three.  I was inwardly cringing, knowing that no matter what I do, or how much fitness I incorporate into my life, or how well I eat, I'm never, ever going to have a body that will be able to wear even a fraction of the clothes in the windows.

I know this about me, about my body.  I know that my body doesn't agree with most things in fashion.  I'm aware that I would not be comfortable in the outfits the mannequins were wearing, no matter how nice I thought they looked.  Not gonna happen with this body.  Which to this day, still depresses me.

But I'm learning.  I'm learning to dress for the body I have, not for the body I want.  I'm learning to make positive food choices, even though I know my body will never change.  I'm learning that intention matters.  I'm learning that fitness isn't just about body shape, it's about feeling good that you made the time to take care of your body.

And despite all of this, I hope.... I intend to.... no matter the situation or circumstances.... just keep walking....

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