Wednesday, December 2, 2015

The Perfect Day

My dietitian asked me tonight what my dream day would look like.  Dream day?  Hmmm.....

Turns out my initial response - sleeping in, yummy breakfast, nice walk with the Pup, afternoon nap, dinner - wasn't all that dreamy.  Mainly cause it was me and the Pup.  I figured it was realistic, at least.... but reality?  I didn't know what a true "dream day" would look like because I've isolated myself that much.  So it took a little thought.... and here's what I came up with.

The day would start by sleeping in late, and waking up next to my (currently non-existent) partner.  WE would then go to a little cafe or something for a delicious breakfast, lingering on the last bites of food and enjoying conversation together.  Then we'd take a nice walk at a local park or trail.  That would be followed by a nap for me, and my partner would do whatever they chose, nap or otherwise.  Together we'd prepare a yummy dinner, and end the day snuggling on the couch with popcorn and a movie.

That day sounds really quite nice.  Really nice.  Like too nice.  Too perfect.  It will involve me kicking out the mean person that lives inside my brain, kicking that part of me so far out that I have room to let people into my world..... 20 some years of (false) comfort in being alone.... never really thinking there was hope for me to be anything but alone.....  But my dietitian said it's totally possible, and that it will happen.

I trust her fully, but I don't know if I quite believe her here..... I'm gonna sure try though, cause this is a day I'd love to live through......

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