Instead, I took a little trip to the local emergency room. Which is anything but fun. Especially since going to the ER felt like my worst fears were swallowing me whole.
I have been working my tail off the last few weeks while I was on break, only this time, I wasn't really working on stuff for work. I was actually working on me. For nearly ten days, my only job was to focus on me.
It sounds so simple, right? I mean, as an adult, we are responsible for taking care of our own needs on a daily basis. Not like when we were kids, and theoretically, our parental figures took care of us and met our needs. Nope, when you're an adult, you're on your own for that.
And it should be somewhat easy by the time you hit your 30's, right? Not.
I'm great at putting what everyone else needs ahead of what I need. I'm great at avoiding taking care of my needs because something else (hello, pinterest) gets in the way. I'm great at putting things off until the last second, and then stressing myself out while I squeeze in whatever it is that must be done, just in the nick of time.
|Sunset, January 2012|
(I digress, back to the point.)
However, had I not spent the previous ten days taking care of myself, Wednesday's ER visit would have been a lot worse. Still, after ten hours in the ER, they never determined the exact cause of my passing out. I was sent home with instructions to follow up with my doctor and rest. And you know what? I listened. I did what I needed to do to take care of me. I actually stayed home from work because I knew if I went to work, resting would not be on the agenda.
Some of you reading this might think that my 2012 has started off horribly (I know some of you are thinking this because I was thinking it myself for a while!) I have to disagree with that thought. It started off exactly as it needed to start. It started off with the reminder that no matter what I am doing, I have to take care of myself first. I did that for the tail end of 2011, and when 2012 started, I tried to go back to my old ways. Wednesday's wake-up call was yet another reminder that if I don't take care of myself, there's no way I'll be able to be good for anyone else. Guess this is one time that "me first" is an appropriate expression!
By the way, spending the day in the ER was pretty miserable. I was a wreck, terrified they would have to admit me, and I'd be stuck in misery. My saving grace was having my BFF there... on her day off, no less... After eight hours, I did convince her to leave and go take care of herself, which she did, and another friend came to take me home... but...
"A true friend is one who reaches for your
hand... but touches your heart..." --unknown