Winning

You know that feeling when someone says "we need to talk?"  

The stomach drop, pulse racing, heart pounding feeling that makes you think, or at least makes me think

"What did I do this time?"

I've actually said that many, many times.  It's my standard response, especially at work.  Whenever the principal needs to speak to me, my instant response is "what did I do this time?" even though I very well did nothing wrong whatsoever, and it's a simple question or brief conversation about some professional thing.  I didn't realize how often I use the "what did I do this time?" response each day.  At least once, maybe twice.  Even if I don't speak it, I think it.

Well, today I came up with a new response.

Instead of "what did I do this time?"

I'm going to give

"What did I win?" 

a chance.

If anything, it will likely elicit a brief giggle and smile, and even if it is an uh-oh conversation, at least it will start with a smile.  And considering the grant funds I've "won" over the past ten months?  Who knows? Maybe I will have won something else!

Let Me Sleep!

Right now, there just isn't enough hours in the day to get the sleep that my body, and brain, seem to be crying out for.  I am in a perpetual state of exhaustion, and let me tell you, it's getting a little tired!  It's as if there is a part of my brain that holds the amount of sleep I need to function.  Only that part of my brain seems to be leaking, since no amount of sleep seems to be enough these days!  Yes, I am in the middle of a medication adjustment.  Yes, my depression is pretty major at the moment.  Yes, we're heading into the darkest season of winter.  So in other words, I've hit the trifecta of sleep-deprivation.  How'd I get to be so lucky?!