She so eloquently articulated what "fine" can mean for one who suffers from depression. For the first time, I actually found an explanation that makes sense to me. We live in a world where people ask "how are you?" and walk away before you can answer. Do those people really want to know how you are doing? Nope. They expect the standard "fine, and you?" response, or something similar.Well my friends, depression is different. There is rarely a "fine" time for me. It doesn't matter if I've been given good news, a compliment (which we know how well I take!) or a little gift. I'll always be able to fake it and look/act "fine" but inside? I'm anything but.
It's rather frustrating trying to explain what depression feels like to those who don't suffer from this maddening issue. The way Ms. Tracy explains it, she had to redefine what "fine" actually meant to her, in order to be able to use it appropriately. For me, I rely on a great little acronym.... When I say I'm fine, this is what runs through my head ----->
Yeah. I know. It's pretty defeating, demeaning, and downright sad. But at least I can answer honestly when someone asks how I'm doing....
Good post. I will have to go read Ms. Tracy's post too. This makes me think of a boss I have who makes his rounds most mornings says "Hi, how are you?" And then he is gone before you can formulate an answer. Why ask if you don't really want to know?? Ugh! This is a pet peeve. Anyway! :-)
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great day!
I have found her blog (Bipolar Burble) to be SO helpful, even though I'm not bipolar. I've learned a ton from her articles.
DeleteIt is my pet peeve too, when people ask a question and then don't wait for the answer. For that reason alone, when I ask someone a question, be it "how are you?" or "what's for lunch?" I wait for the answer. I just wish others would do the same. That, or not ask if they really don't want to know the honest answer!
I hate it when people say to me, 'you'll be fine.' How the F*** so they know??? Sorry for the near profanity but Im so with you on this one. xxx
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you Jackie! It's like someone is grating my skin when they say "oh, you'll be fine." They don't know what lives inside me, how are they to determine how I will or will not be?! No apologies necessary for near profanity, this situation warrants! xoxo
DeleteGreat post dearest purple dreamer - very insightful. In one way or another many of us are accustomed to 'pretending' how we really are. I think perhaps many things would become a great deal easier if we weren't so afraid to tell the truth, for example - "I feel pretty awful today, how are you?". Sending Much love to you always xo
ReplyDeleteThank you ms. Kylie :) I would love a world where it was ok to reply as you stated, that would be so much healthier and more real than pretending, which I think we're all so accustomed to doing! Thank you fro the thoughts! xoxo
DeleteThis is a great post and I'll have to read Natasha Tracey's post, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks Denise! I find Natasha's blog to be very insightful, and I enjoy reading it.
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